So they say.  And I agree.  Because the more I read, the heavier my heart gets.

In a book that the psychologist lent me, there was a story about Roger, a sophomore at a top university who was diagnosed with Asperger’s when he was younger.  Because he was intelligent enough, he learnt to behave normally very quickly.  In fact, it was hard to tell that he has a condition at all.  Which was good.  But the sadness of it all was that he had become an expert at faking normalcy and the effort to blend in had taken an enormous toll on him. 

He had mastered the formula for social encounters by constantly analyzing what he believed were others’ expectations and then deliver as close an approximation as he could.  He had succeeded in “fitting in”; no one thought he was weird…But despite his success at confirming to social norms, Roger was aware that something was missing…not in his methods, but in his reasons for relating to others.

Roger felt empty and became “an anthropologist living within an alien culture” in his desperate effort to blend in.

And this is what hit me badly.  That my boy could potentially become a Roger because he is at the other end, where he will gain sufficient understanding to figure out what’s going on.   I wonder now if getting him diagnosed is really helping because now that we know, we may feel compelled to teach him “normal” behavior so that he can “fit in”.   If this is going to be at the expense of his happiness, I’m not sure I want him to fit in that much. 

Because for me, all that matters is that he should grow up to be happy. 

Hey everyone! Check out this latest fashion accessory!  Fashion finger caps!  And must be orange ones to boot!

I must be such a fashion dodo not to know that I have such an interesting fashion accessory in my drawer all along.  And to think I only use them to flip flash cards to my son.  HIYA! 

I only realised that they’re fashionable when I saw them on a male model at the Creatively Thai 2008 Street Fashion Show.  Geez, how could I not have known?   

Well, if you’re interested in wearing this fashion accessory, you can find these for a couple of dollars at Diaso.  Maybe not 100% similar to what the male model wore, but they’re good enough.

I must say I like them for the fact that they can hide my un-manicured fingers well!

When I was told he has Asperger’s, I found myself swallowing hard.  It was one thing to be mentally prepared but quite another to hear the actual words.  My husband was almost afraid that I would burst out in tears.

No, I didn’t cry of course but my heart did feel somewhat heavy because I was hoping the evaluation might turn him up as normal afterall. 

But, the good news is that the psychologist is very optimistic about his potential because his main problem appears to be the lack of demonstrated empathy which means a disadvantage during social interactions.   Otherwise, she thinks that he should be able to breeze through school given his level of IQ and a fairly mild temperament.

Well, I’m not too sure about that.

Because during one of the role-play sessions where he was supposed to help a baby celebrate her birthday, he did something unexpected.

It started out fine when he made a cake out of the play-doh set.  He then put on the candles, helped the baby blow them out and even proceeded to cut the cake to serve the baby and all.  It looked all good until he decided to throw the pile of purple “cake” at the baby’s face!   My husband and I looked at each other in horror first, before bursting out and laughing like crazy.

Lack of empathy plus an inclination for looney behavior.  Now, that’s definitely a bad combination for decent social interactions if you ask me.

Blame it on the fact that we rarely take the train.  Or that he hasn’t been educated on the different names of our train stations.  Because when Chinatown was announced as the next station, the boy looked up at me in disbelief.

“CHINA?”

“CHINA GOT EARTHQUAKE!”

“WHY ARE WE GOING CHINA?”

Should I be proud that my five-year-old is so in tune with the current affairs?

The boy has taken to watching movies with us quite well.  In fact, he has started to request for them.  We have to buy a full price ticket for him now but it’s all good because he’ll sit through the entire movie without fuss.  Of course, we have to be selective about the story plot.  I don’t think something like Sex And The City will appeal to him.

As we were watching the movie over the weekend, I thought it was so ironical that life somehow always go in a full circle because I used to accompany my parents for movies as a kid!  I started out sitting on my dad’s lap and then moved on to have my own seat when I grew a lot taller and heavier.  I didn’t remember watching any kiddie movies back then.  Instead, we used to watch those mushy Taiwanese romantic flicks.

Anyway, go catch Kung Fu Panda if you haven’t.  I usually don’t fancy cartoon or animated movies but this one is cool.  And I suppose you can’t go very wrong with a plot built around a fat clumsy panda too.