Last week, while driving him home from school, I screamt my lungs at him. He had removed his seat belt midway when we were travelling on the highway just to try to pick up something he has dropped, despite having been warned before that he should never remove his seat belt while the vehicle is on the move. And what made me uptight was the fact that he still doesn’t know how to put on his own seat belt!
At that moment, I was angry but I exaggerated my anger by screaming at him. And luckily, I caught the seat belt in time to secure it back for him while still driving.
He was visibly upset and hung his head low. I felt slightly guilty for having overreacted and screamt at him on purpose but I just didn’t think a firm tick off and an explanation was enough. I felt a need at that moment to drill into his little head that he should never remove his seat belt at any point of time whilst we’re driving and screaming was the best thing I could do since my hands were on the steering wheel.
I guess I can justify my kneejerk response to the fact that drastic times calls for drastic measures. Afterall, this is something that concerns his safety and it shouldn’t be dealt with lightly at all.
Well at least he knows that your serious about this and it reminds him.
ilovepearly: Yup, I hope so…
Comment by ilovepearly — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 @ 4:16 pm
It’s probably not safe for you to try put his seatbelt on while in the middle of driving … hehe …
Loong: Which was why I freaked out big time. Luckily I caught it in time and managed to clipped it back with one hand.
Comment by Loong — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 @ 6:45 pm
Chloe still donch know how to remove her seatbelts.. she is still in her car seat.. but i’m sure she will be hearing alot of screaming as soon as she does.. the gal of mine is quite rebellious.
MB: I don’t think Chloe will be so rebellious if you told her not to do it. G isn’t rebellious but he wasn’t aware of the consequence of his actions. He was just thinking of retrieving his stuff that he dropped.
Comment by Mama BoK — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 @ 11:10 pm
ummm…does he understand why he has to wear a seatbelt? perhaps point out news articles to explain to him the consequences?
i need the parents to explain to me why and the rationale behind it before i’m willing to do something.
imp: He has been told over again about the consequences but the thing is he doesn’t see how serious it is especially when he plays with those games involving cars. He thinks cars on the road is the same as those in his games…that it will be up in a jiffy no matter what happens. And the thing that got me most annoyed was cos I anticipated he would drop his stuff and might want me to pick up so I warned him to be careful but little did I expect him to want to remove his seat belt to retrieve it himself.
Comment by imp — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 @ 12:27 am
I think when things scare us (such as the possibility of what would happen if an accident occurred in that precise moment) we tend to “overreact” and “lose it”. I know I have done it on many occasions. Don’t beat yourself up about yelling, it happens to the best of us and it’s all from caring so much.
Amy: Ya, you’re right…I reacted because I care too much. I just need to make sure I manage this well so that it doesn’t always have to this way.
Comment by Amy — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 @ 5:42 am
I think it’s ok to show him the severity of his actions. I do that too, especially when Zara is toying with danger. Like kicking the gear while I’m driving, or trying to pull the hand brake. I screamed and smacked her leg, and then later explained to her what it could cause.
After that, she stopped playing with my brakes or gear.
ZM: Zara kicks the gear and try to pull the handbrake? Wah, I would freak out big time too.
Comment by zara's mama — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 @ 10:20 am
I think sometimes a shock to their systems (via mommy screaming) will always let them know that some stuff are just non-negotiables.
Irene: That’s what I thought. Non-negotiables!
Comment by Irene — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 @ 1:48 pm
U didnt overreact but it was a normal reaction most parents will react at circumstance like this.
I used to think in a family, one parent shd be strict to discipline and the other be kind to love and nuture the children. So naturally in our house, my hubby become the discipline master, “bad guy” while I am the spoilt-brat’s mother.
But eversince I realise my girls are taking advantage of me being the “good mother”, always dont take my words seriously and behave whenever I ask so. And I cant be forever rely on the hubby which now seldom I can. I hv to start my own disciplinary.
Now whenever my girls are not listening &misbehave, I will raise my voice and spank immediately if the mistake made were given ample warning & reminder. But the aftermath is,albeit that can stop them misbehave, two low self-esteem children, head low… sometime weeping quietly…
quietly in my heart, I were hurt…
Then one day, I was gaving them a dressing down again and the very sad girls asked me if I can dont raised my voice at them? I hurt them when I raised my voice. They feel very sad when I didnt talk nicely to them…
Putting aside we meant them well… their request really set me thinking… isit really helpful to raise my voice at them?
wtpg: There are just times we need to exert more in terms of our authority. I don’t believe in sparing the rod and spoiling the child but having said that, I try to avoid the cane. I think a raise of voice and an occasional yell can do the job. For your girls, maybe cos they’re so used to you being sweet and nice so they’re not used to the change. As parents, we try to talk to them nicely, but sometimes, we have our moods as well and that can get aggravated if they’re misbehaving.
Comment by wtpg — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 @ 1:51 am
Oh.. no, no, no.. !! i never thought Gavin was rebellious at all.. SS. It’s just my chloe who is and will be. I would never think that of Gavin.. you know that ..SS ..
i think he is such a sweet kid.
MB: Aiyah…I wasn’t thinking along that line lah. Don’t worry. I just said it cos I was on the topic.
Comment by Mama Bok — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 @ 3:59 am