I didn’t quite like this comment I read on The Bag Page in Urban yesterday. Coming from a matchmaker, I suppose she had to make a politically correct statement about what she promotes.
I’m married and I have a kid. I know a lot of people want the kind of happiness that I’m enjoying right now. And that’s definitely one of the motivations for me to continue striving.
Does being married and having kids equal happiness? Conversely, does it mean those who are not married and not having kids unhappy? It’s funny for me to say it, but I say this is crap. This is the kind of conventional thinking I abhor. Like, you can only attain happiness if you live life a certain way. Come on, let’s not be naive. There are many ways to achieve happiness. Don’t make marriage sounds like THE WAY because you just end up with more people being disillusioned about the institution when they find out it involves a lot more hard work.
Shit. Maybe that’s why my single friends shun me. Because the society has painted them into a corner and they think I, like the rest, think they’re miserable. You know, on some days, I would happily trade places with them. There’s a reason why they’re called the swinging singles.
wah. best. you’ve said everything i wanted to say about that statement.
i don’t think your single friends ’shun’ you because of what they think you might think. but more from the perspective of- you have added responsibilities as a wife and mother = a bit more difficult to juggle your time to meet up socially.
my married friends live life no different from us swinging singles. but the ones with children, they admit, are a little restricted due to being caregivers and parents to a young one. but those with teenagers, are back to partying with us.
imp: I hope I can still boogie when my boy grows up to become a teenager.
Comment by imp — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 @ 1:30 pm
I think it is asian mentality that we are brought up with. My mother was very worried.. for me.. when i wasn’t even dating at 25.. muahahha!!
MB: That’s true…the Asian mentality is still conservative but our values are shifting especially with the young. That’s also causing a lot of problems with marriages because expectations are so different from the values…
Comment by Mama Bok — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 @ 3:03 am
hey SS, i believe she said that becoz she’s a matchmaker, something like a form of advertising, otherwise how can she live up to the agency’s “motto” :p or maybe in this line, she sees alot of desperate ppl waiting to get hitched, so this might be what her customers tell her. thats how i see it lah. obviously its crap too, and contrary to what she said, alot of my married-with-kids friends tell me its definitely not a bed of roses, both marriage & parenthood.
Evan: It’s a bed of roses, with the thorns thrown in! Haha…
Comment by Evan — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 @ 9:29 pm
That’s very true, but then that’s the kind of misconception some has.
I used to feel very pressured not being married at my late twenties, because all my family members married before they turned 25.
People thought I was miserable, I then thought so too. But then, looking back, those were really great times.
I would like to swap too sometimes, to be single once again, to only have myself to worry about but nobody else.
ZM: Well, the grass is always greener on the other side…
Comment by zara's mama — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 @ 11:57 am
Happiness is a state of mind, being content with the things and people around you. Happiness is certainly not social acceptance, however wrong it may be. Don’t you just wish people like this woman would just shut up and quit acting like they know the secret to Nirvana?
Hsin: Yes, I wish they’ll shut their traps…
Comment by Hsin — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 @ 11:04 pm