Everytime I meet my hairstylist, he’s always lamenting about how he’s unable to take too much time off or he’ll be losing his clients.  And he never fails to add that it’s because he’s the sole provider in the family.  Though he’s not exactly complaining, but I know he’s under a lot of pressure.

His is not the only story that I hear. 

Another friend, a high flyer may I add, also says about the same thing.  As a matter of fact, this friend of mine actually complains while boasting at the same time, saying things like, “What to do?  My wife isn’t working.” 

I’m pretty sure there was communication prior to decisions being made for the family to go on a single income.  So my question is, do the husbands really mean it when they say they’re okay with the wives not working and becoming a SAHM? 

Perhaps due to ego especially fueled by the long standing expections that men are to provide for the family, I know of some who do not reflect their genuine thoughts even to their spouse.  They may say they do not mind, they’re supportive, yadda yadda, but then think or say something else altogether behind backs.  Otherwise, why are these men that I know personally lamenting?   They could have said those things in jest to me, but then again, I think those thoughts are latent within their subconscious.  

I certainly prefer men who are more upfront with their feelings.  Like my best friend’s husband, who even though was doing well years ago, clearly told his wife then that he rather not have her become a SAHM so soon.  As for us, this was never quite an issue since I’ve always wanted to do something for myself long-term despite whatever circumstances we’re in.

The SAHMs reading this may think that I’m stirring shit here but that’s not my intention.  Neither am I trying to say that women should be working and not becoming SAHMs.  I respect that this is a family decision and a personal choice.  

It’s just an open thought I have on a relationship topic. Sure some women can even go round telling the world that their husbands can provide well for them, but that still doesn’t take away the fact that the men could be under a whole lot of pressure just providing those comforts.  Whatever the situation, the question here is, does he really express what he thinks when making that joint decision?