I’m often intrigued whenever I watch a movie or program in which the lens zoom in on a character for a couple of minutes of focus and everything about that person is put on a standstill momentarily.  

Well, I had one of those moments yesterday.

I thought I had pressed the button for the lift but apparently I didn’t.  I stood there waiting for the door to open and of course it didn’t.  In my mind, I was waiting.  In reality, I was experiencing a standstill.   But nobody was watching.

If I were to translate this to something more understandable, then perhaps I can call it my mid life crisis.  When everything around me is switching gear.  When time is passing by too fast.  When my fears seem frightfully real.  And I’m still stuck in a state of denial.

I wish I can say what is happening but I can’t.  I can’t because I don’t know for sure.  So everything is at a standstill now, until I can confirm that whatever I think I’m having is just a figment of my imagination.   Or not.  Meanwhile, life goes on as per normal and hopefully when I do know the answer, I can safely say this standstill, like the movie scenes, was just as unreal.

At two weeks after his chicken pox outbreak, he’s looking good again with no permanent marks on his face.  I had to keep reminding him not to scratch them, and to show him the pox mark on my face to illustrate my point.  A mark that brings me some sweet and sour memories.

I had chicken pox 12 years ago at a rather advanced age, right after a whole month of endless partying with the man.  He, had to insist on coming to visit me, despite how unsightly I look then.  So in a mad bid to beautify myself, I inevitably broke a blister which later created a permanent hole on my face.

The mark is always contentious for us.  

I’m always blaming him for causing the scarring while he’s always blaming it on my vanity.   But there’s never any hard feelings of course.  Afterall, the mark also reminds us of our heady courtship days, and the fun we had when we first got together.

My best friend sent me an SMS yesterday relaying the pressure she faces concerning her children’s education.  “All the kids are doing well in school except them.”  And she went on to cite comparisons from the cousins and comments from her in-laws.

While I hate to admit it, but our parenting capabilities are also pegged to our kids’ school results.  If our kids do well, then we’re good mothers.  If our kids’ grades are lousy, so are we.  You can say no.  But this just about sums up how the society thinks in general.  We mothers are judged on our ability to nurture our children.  Their success is ours so to speak and this is even more true when you’re a SAHM because you’re sole responsibility, as others perceive, is to ensure that your kids grow up well, and excel in school.  Like my best friend, who has been reeling under pressure all these years and feeling lousy about herself because her in-laws continously implied that she did not do enough to coach her kids.

Well, even although my son is young and I’m not a SAHM, I already feel the pressure.  It certainly doesn’t help that I’m not exactly the nurturing kind, like how my kid came back whining that he didn’t have a pencil case packed in his school bag because I never bothered to.

(Yes, he now has one.  Only because his teacher bought it for him.)

Maybe it’s the choice of the cinema.  Or maybe it’s the timing.  Then again it could be Takuya Kimura.   Hero the movie actually attracted more aunties than young girls from what I observed at the debut this afternoon. 

I know he has made fans of Japanese women in different age group but I hadn’t realised that the man has fallen into the category of being an auntie killer (师奶杀手).   And is it coincidence or what that I just received an email from Ashes this morning and part of the content was about how her mum has been gushing over how handsome my hero looked in the Gatsby commercial? 

Actually come to think of it, I’m quite close to being an auntie myself. *Gasp*

Well, aunties or not, we all certainly enjoyed the movie very much.  It’s a continuation of the hit drama series with the original cast all intact and if you’ve loved that, you surely won’t want to miss this on the big screen.  The cast is excellent, the story line is great, and the pace is fast.  Plus my Takuya Kimura is definitely more than eye candy as the ultimate hero.   

Simply SUGOI! 

One of the reasons I hate going to the wet market is because of the money.  The change that I get from the butcher, the fishmonger or the poultry seller are real grimy.  I would love to scrub them clean if I can.

In fact, come to think of it, except for new notes, all money becomes dirty after awhile, and are probably contaminated with some amount of bacteria.  Yet we never reject them, no matter how soiled they are.  I mean, have you heard anyone saying, “I don’t want the money because it’s dirty”?  Well I haven’t.

Ha. I can write contemptuously about money but of course I can’t live without it. Especially now that I need more of it for petrol.  And oh, to get pass that damn CTE gantry even after 9.30am.