Overheard at the office yesterday.
Colleague calls son:
Did you pack your pencil case in your bag? Later remember you have a class at 3pm. Your dad will pick you up k?
Same colleague calls husband later:
You remember to pick up son later k? And he’s got enrichment class today at 3pm. You got to send him there. And tonight please pack dinner for the kids.
Many parents will probably find this rather familiar.
As babies, it revolves mostly around their feeding and poo poo needs. Time to feed them, time to pump milk, time to change diaper and time to clean them up.
When they start schooling, it revolves around their education and enrichment needs. Who sends them to school, who brings them back from school, who coaches their homework, who ensures they’re still clean and well fed.
The onus is usually on the mother to make sure everything is in order. Get up before the kids do, ensure that food is ready for them on the table and the little ones get to go to school and be picked up on time. When there’s an emergency, there’s always more stress to ensure that these daily needs are still met and nothing has been disrupted.
Sometimes it’s madness. Especially for those who have to juggle with several other tasks and still want some private time to maintain their sanity.
Like this other colleague who’s always rushing home during lunch break on some days of the week to do her laundry so that everyone in her household has clean clothes. This despite the fact that she has part-time domestic help.
And this morning I woke up a little late, had to rush and in between shouted for milk to be prepared, breakfast to be ready, hurriedly told my maid what to cook for the day instead of writing the list like I always do and reminding her to have him ready by 3pm for his Shichida class. But when I got to the office I realised that I’ve forgotten to ask for an egg to be added in my boy’s soup and promptly called my maid about it.
Well, it was just an egg of course. But do you know what actually went on in my head while driving to work this morning to make me realised that I’ve forgotten about the egg?
Welcome to reality parenting. Where quality me-time for some of us is just an illusion.
Quality Me Time? Whats that?
mg:
Comment by mumsgather — Fri, 18 May 2007 @ 11:50 am
Ahhh..!! who said it will get better..?? hahha!! parenting is nothing but alot of hard work..!
MB: That’s Ah Q spirit. We’re just consoling one another hoping it’ll get better.
Comment by Mama Bok — Fri, 18 May 2007 @ 3:08 pm
I left my handphone at home today and felt horrified by the thought that Grace and daycare wouldnt be able to get me if there was an emergency or issue about the crayolas.
The husband was at around so I called the relevant people and told them to call “the other parent”.
With my phone at home and no means for anyone to reach me, I went about my day deliberately not worrying…the other parent would take care of it.
After work, I had a dinner appointment with a few girlfriends in town until late. The conversation was so good I felt that I shouldn’t rush back to the crayolas.
When I got back, the crayolas were watching TV. I had only 2 missed calls - one from my office and one from my mom. Everyone was fine and I had me-time.
I had nothing to worry letting go. [Sorry for long comment!]
carrie: Glad you had a good time. Well, sometimes it’s all in our minds but of course, it helps when you have a supportive household too. Actually when I’m out working a full day, I hardly call home to check. I just assume everything will work out fine. But I no longer do dinners or have drinks out with friends cos I feel guilty and he’s increasingly more clingy and that makes me want to be home asap.
Comment by carrie — Sat, 19 May 2007 @ 8:33 am
sesame, even now that my daughter is about to graduate in high school, i still go straight home from work to make sure that dinner is prepared when she goes home college evening classes. sometimes, i just cook for herself when i choose to just eat salad and fruits for dinner.
though, am trying my best to train her to be independent and productive, i am still very much part of her daily routine.
i can tell you are a very good mother for your son. keep up the good work.
Belle: Your daughters are really fortunate. And thanks for your compliments. I don’t think I’m anywhere near your dedication though…
Comment by Belle — Mon, 21 May 2007 @ 1:21 am
This is so true.. and like you said.. it’s always the mother who has to worry about all these.
Fathers have an easier time.. at least my hubby does.
ZM: Usually so. But some would help out if we ask…
Comment by zara's mama — Tue, 22 May 2007 @ 10:16 pm