My imperfect world is going to crumple anytime soon. I must have some sort of psychic power because I had a nightmare about it last night and this morning he told me a news related to this. The day I dread maybe near and I’m still praying it won’t happen.
You can call me a hyprocrite but it’s one thing to say I’ve agreed in principle, and another to say I’m ready to embrace the idea. After this incident and coupled with the fact that I realised that the two old folks are always at loggerheads, I really wish they’ll stay away.
Unless you’re in my shoes, you cannot comprehend my situation, why I said yes then and now regretting those very words. Well, nobody can. No even my man. He’s now upset that I’m sort of going back on our earlier agreement. But can I help it?
All I want is a home I can call home. Amongst other things, can you imagine I can no longer walk around my own home with my own Kose black mask? How dreadful is that?
I can just see my life ahead going topsy turvy. In the worst scenario when things become unbearable, I will find a place and move out with my son. Please hope for me that it doesn’t have to come to that.
Poor Sesame….. it’s also my nightmare ;-(
Hey, must try to remedify the situation before the worse comes. How about suggesting they move in with the rest of the siblings as well? Or take turn?
Really unbearable one, I know, staying with in-laws.
ssf: Not possible. That option has been explored.
Comment by sunshinensunflower — Sat, 12 May 2007 @ 9:48 pm
these are painfully fundamental issues.
i hope your man can thoroughly understand your feelings and not just brush them off.
if what was promised and agreed came to pass, i’m sure he knows that there will be plenty of opportunities for explosions and the air in the house might become all strained…. i suppose there’s a very very hard choice to be made here. and i pray you will not have to do the worst.
imp: He’s not exactly brushing it off but it’s something difficult to discuss properly. I guess he’s also put in a spot.
Comment by imp — Sun, 13 May 2007 @ 3:33 am
You poor gal..!! Stay positive..!! stay positive..!!
MB: I’m trying…
Comment by Mama BoK — Sun, 13 May 2007 @ 3:51 am
The mind of a Gemini — we say yes because really we are the caring type, then it becomes no because we can forsee the bad that would happen too.
Good luck yahh. Hope it all works out.
Irene: Thanks Irene. And you say it about the way we think…*sigh*
Comment by Irene — Sun, 13 May 2007 @ 10:42 am
The last few sentences are cause for worry. I never thought that things might come to that stage. Well, if you ever need a short getaway to clear your mind, I can spare the space if you don’t mind the dog!
DR: I don’t mind the dog of course. But no, I can’t get away this time. I guess whatever reprieve has to be mental…
Comment by domestic rat — Mon, 14 May 2007 @ 11:39 am
I really hope it won’t get that bad.
I understand how you feel because I was in your shoe. Before we moved to our new house, he wanted his dad to move in too so badly (his dad & mum are not living together). I agreed to it.
Then when the time came for us to move in.. I really started having 2nd thoughts. He’s always not around, what does he want me to do? Take care of his father? I’m not a saint, I hardly know him, I don’t think I can do that. So there was always the talk about delaying, then all the other reasons given.
Finally, this year (after 2 years of living in our house), I told him it’s up to him what he wants to do. I told him I can’t care for his father like I do with mine, and I’m not really fond of his father. If he think he still wants to let him live with us, he can make the decision. In my mind I was thinking, if he did have his father move in, and I can’t take it, I’ll move out with the kids.
This is still a sensative topic for us.. but really, I’m ready to move out if need to. Of course, I hope I don’t have to do it. I hope the same for you too.
ZM: It’s hard isn’t it. At the end of the day, does staying together means being filial? I don’t know. Maybe to him and to them. But for me, I feel like an outsider whose space will soon be invaded. That’s the reality of my thoughts and I don’t want to pretend otherwise. I’m not their daughter, just like you said, he’s not your father. It isn’t the same. What if there are nasty exchanges?
Comment by zara's mama — Mon, 14 May 2007 @ 2:57 pm
Poor sesame! I can totally understand how you feel.
I guess most important thing to do when they stay with you is that you do things according to how you would do when they are not around. Don’t change just because they are around. Make know to them that this is your house, these are your rules. That way, u will feel much better. That was my approach when my in-laws visit. They know I will not hesitate to show them my black face if they ever try to interfere with my life. Anyway, do try not to think too much. Stay positive!
CM: Yes, it’s the way I think too. To do things according to my terms. We even lay the cards on the table last round. But in reality, it isn’t going to be that easy. Not with an old Teochew mentality.
Comment by crazymommy — Mon, 14 May 2007 @ 7:44 pm
My relationship with my in-laws have been amicable but I believe I would not be able to tolerate it if they stay in my place permanently, for whatever reasons it might be.
I wish you can talk with your hubby so that things can be resolved before anything worse gets along. I’m gonna sound a little selfish but is there any of hubby’s siblings that can take them in?
msff: No…no possible. That option has been explored.
Comment by msfairface — Tue, 15 May 2007 @ 3:50 pm
Multiple generations living together never seems like a good idea to me. I could never live with my inlaws. We are very different people so the conflict would be endless. I’m sorry that you find yourself in this situation.
ally: *sigh*
Comment by ally bean — Wed, 16 May 2007 @ 4:58 am