I don’t really like to discuss my troubles in my blog. I usually avoid writing about things that make my heart heavy. Occasionally I give my readers a glance, but more likely in a non-specific sort of way.
Maybe I’m fearful of being judged. Maybe I’m just in denial. Maybe I don’t really know where to start.
This however, is very much in sync with my offline personality.
I don’t like to talk about my problems. Not even with my closest of friends. Rants and bitching yes but I won’t talk about my deep rooted troubles - those that seem larger than life, and those that don’t want to go away ever.
To me, problems breed negative energy and by talking or writing about them, I’m just giving them too much focus and amplifying my pain. At the end of it, not only do I get dragged down by that depressing feeling, but people who hear or read about it too.
It helps that I’m naturally a strong and positive person and one who is easily contented as well. So despite the challenges I have, I prefer to focus on the small simple everyday happiness. Of course some days I wake up with an extremely heavy heart, feeling completely vexed and fearing that my world will fall apart. Fortunately, I have learnt to survive those momentarily thoughts by looking at the small goodies that lie ahead.
I know some people rely heavily on their religion to help them cope. For me, I have always relied on my inner strength and my own simple philosophies. Live one day at a time. Cross the bridge when I come to it. Enjoy what I have at the moment.
So if you’re worrying about something, it’s okay. But remember to let it go and not dwell on it for too long. Because worrying is not going to take you anywhere. Definitely not heaven. Definitely not nirvana. And probably not even Christmas.
This is such a well-written post. Although sometimes I feel like I come across as too happy, I agree with you about not going too deep and negative on the blog.
I like your one day at a time philosophy. It does help to keep perspective and to be able to enjoy the small things in life each day.
ally: Actually I think its good to be superficial at times instead of going too deep…
Comment by ally bean — Tue, 12 Dec 2006 @ 7:43 pm
I think it is good to bitch about problems some of the time. Helps to release the pent up anger. Think Mt Krakatoa or the great fault in California. When the stress of two tectonic plates builds up too much, a lot of destruction will results. Hehe …
Loong: That’s a good point! Don’t create a tsunami in ourselves!
Comment by Loong — Tue, 12 Dec 2006 @ 9:40 pm
Sometimes it’s good to vent your frustrations even though it’s pointless sharing your woes unless the other person can actually help one way or another. I suppose the best way forward is to maintain a positive thinking and let go of some matters.
DR: Yup, talking and not being able to resolve anything is counterproductive. Something I hate to do.
Comment by domestic rat — Wed, 13 Dec 2006 @ 12:30 am
I wish I was like you, in possession of a positive attitude. I get bogged down very easily by problems, frustrations & troubles. However, contrary to how you feel, I’ve learnt that talking the problems out with friends (even if it didn’t achieve anything eventually)or write about them, works for me. I get a better grip & perspective on the problems.
DT: Sometimes I do that, it’s an outlet I agree. And like what you said, sets you in clearer perspective.
Comment by DT — Wed, 13 Dec 2006 @ 1:07 am
I can’t though.. when I have some problems, I like to rant it to friends/family/hubby (unless the problem came from hubby).
I wish I could have inner strength (and control) like you too..
ZM: Haha…cos I’m a fighter!
Comment by zara's mama — Wed, 13 Dec 2006 @ 10:19 am
i’m the kind who’ll wait till the minor problem goes away. (usually it does!) if it’s major, then i’ll sit down and go through it and decide best approach. but it doesn’t mean i’ll talk to pple or blog about it!! i prefer doing things on my own.
imp: I’m a bit like you too…prefer to sort things out on my own. I mean, they’re after all my problems. The only person I’ll really talk to is my hubby.
Comment by imp — Wed, 13 Dec 2006 @ 10:46 am
I enjoy the company of people, who will give me words of wisdom. Sometimes it may not be a direct solution but indirectly I was enlighten and my problem will no longer be one. And SS, you are one of them
I used to be a happy go lucky person. Im talkative and just want to rant and vent to feel better but untimately I’ll have my own solution. But it’s sad when I realise, my so-called buddy actually starts to judge me and give remark. Then worst, the hubby is not a listening ear. I starts to withdraw.I become very attitute.I have no where to vent and the poison starts breeding inside me.
SS, Im glad you are a positive & strong person. I wish you happiness always.
Btw, dont worry about my poison, Im undergoing some self detox :p
wtpg: Aiyoh, you see me too up lah…but actually I don’t really think you’re very negative. You see, at least you know and you try to clear them. I also think you try to focus on the positives, like the development of your girls and how sweet they are. And you also dispense good advice to me, like recently about Gavin. I really appreciate that. So yes, we all got burdens inside us, but we must all learn how to manage it in a way that does not drag us down deeper into the dark hole. Because I always believe, in any situations, whether we are in trouble or in illness, only we can help ourselves. Others can give us support, but if we give up ourselves, then no amount of support will be able to lift us up.
Comment by wtpg — Wed, 13 Dec 2006 @ 5:21 pm
Well written post. I rely on God when I remember to. Hee hee.
Irene: Heehee indeed. Actually, tsk tsk too…
Comment by Irene — Fri, 15 Dec 2006 @ 10:04 am