Yesterday while I was caught in a traffic jam on the way home, it struck me that I had spent like two days working long hours and didn’t exchange one phone call or sms with my man. It was getting late and I didn’t leave any messages to say that I would be home later. But nobody seemed to have noticed.
Which is such a contrast with yesteryears.
Before marriage, it was 10 or more phonecalls a day about sweet nothings. Even after marriage, I still received a few phone calls a day, even though the number dropped significantly. But now, we hardly call one another when we’re apart and maintain most of our exchanges by sending sms-es.
I must however, qualify that part of the problem lies with me. I dislike phone calls and can sometimes sound very cold or indifferent in tele-conversations.
But still, there is no denial that this is the state my marriage has relegated to. A state of only maintaining bare minimum connections when we don’t see each other. A state where we become too comfortable even when we don’t hear from the other party.
And even if we do make phone contacts, most of the conversations tend to center around the boy and his well-being.
So admittedly, I was feeling slightly sore then. And it appeared that our feeling signals were unbroken and they got transmitted clearly across. Because just a few minutes later, I got an sms from my man.
“Anything happened, suffering succotash?”
I think ur hubby know you are busy & dun wish to disturb you lah. Anyway in the end you still recd an sms from him rite? So it shows that he is thinking of you.
Ashes: Haha…definitely think much lesser now…
Comment by Ashes — Wed, 8 Nov 2006 @ 8:46 am
Yes, I’m like you, usually impatient and a bit curt over the phone. I think its driven away my man from calling me in the evenings on his way back from work. Hahaha.
mumsgather: Haha…probably to do with being Geminis and horseys…
Comment by mumsgather — Wed, 8 Nov 2006 @ 11:21 am
That is why people say, after you get over the euphoria of “falling in love” - where you find out that the other person’s fart actually stinks as opposed to smelling like roses … but the both of you work at the relationship to accept each other, that is when real love begins. Or so I have read. Hehe …
Loong: Haha…fart smelling like roses? Never for me leh. Looks like I must have missed the euphoria altogether!
Comment by Loong — Wed, 8 Nov 2006 @ 5:38 pm
SS, everytime when Im trying to put down some thoughts & feeling about my marriage, how it has relegated to today state, you write it out all for me… you reflect how i feel inside…
But I can tell you, your man care for you… just that as what Loong has mentioned, the euphoria of “falling in love”, does has an expiry date.
Marriage is like a marathon. Constant & slow then can complete the race.
If you sprint from the start, you’ll wear down very soon. Too passionate will only burnt the marriage. Saying that I dont mean being passionate is wrong, in fact is idea but provided you can maintain it and how many people can?
Anyway this is just a new philosophy I have attained, though I never expect my marriage can relegated to today state. Maybe this is the art of marriage, I have to learn.
wtpg: Your thoughts about marriage being like a marathon and an art is very interesting. I think over time, couples in a marriage may grow apart or closer, depending on what happens in their lives. For me, I would say, we are still emotionally close but no longer lovey dovey. And because of that, the attitude towards the other is somewhat different from yesteryears. But I think to sustain a marriage, both need to have a certain amount of perseverance and belief in the r/s.
Comment by wtpgrr — Wed, 8 Nov 2006 @ 6:50 pm
Looks like the Love is still there…
Irene: Heehee…it’s in the air…
Comment by Irene — Thu, 9 Nov 2006 @ 6:15 am
hahaha…. all sounds too familiar. Yeap, one day, we wake up and smell the coffee… eventually.
LJ: Hurhurhur…at least not immediately the morning after.
Comment by Lil' Joy — Thu, 9 Nov 2006 @ 11:20 am
I suppose the love has evolved, that’s all.
LJ: :smile:
Comment by Lil' Joy — Thu, 9 Nov 2006 @ 11:20 am
I am neither a horsey or Geminis but I am like you too…..hubby has complained tat I sounded cold and harsh over the phone. so we don’t chat on the phone except relaying our messages and end the call…..
Now he only sms me stuff Like, I am working late dear…..
haiz….sometimes I think I am to be blamed…..I made him feel the distant and thus thinks it’s pointless to call.
Jan: I think that’s my problem too…and I believe it has got to do with the fact that we have so many things to take care of, you know what I mean?
Comment by Jan (My lovely Rays) — Thu, 9 Nov 2006 @ 12:58 pm
Hahha!! good sense of humour your hubby has..
MB: Ya, he’s usually quite funny…
Comment by Mama Bok — Thu, 9 Nov 2006 @ 3:05 pm
I’m in a worse situation..
If we need to call or sms each other, it’s really out of necessity.. no more doing it just for the sake of doing it.
At least you two are telepatic.
ZM: I guess it’s got to do with not having enough time and phone calls are used as needed only…this usually happens after the kid arrives…
Comment by zara's mama — Thu, 9 Nov 2006 @ 4:01 pm
We seldom call each other nowadays too..instead we chat through IM…sounds cold hor, but his job keep him in meetings almost whole day, so there’s really no time to call..
Ya at least you and your hubby still got telepathy, and i’m sure he cares for you.. in his own way..
Eileen: Calls are reduced also large part becos of the advancements in technology too.
Comment by Eileen — Fri, 10 Nov 2006 @ 9:25 am