I take you to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.
This was the marriage vow I took nine years ago. We were of course very much dizzy in love at that time. But now?
So many things have happened. Some good. Some lousy. Some sad. But all in all, I still cherish this marriage and hope to fulfill my marriage vows.
To me, a marriage means we become one. One heart. One mind. One entity.
To give each other emotional support. To shoulder each other’s worries and problems. To be the shadow of the other and move forward together in our life’s journey.
This is why we took those marriage vows.
天长地久有那么难吗?
I agree with you. You are one after you marry. Just get on with life and do your best. Good thoughts here.
ally: I wish that the best is always good enough for everyone…
Comment by ally bean — Thu, 28 Sep 2006 @ 7:47 pm
Things does changed doesn’t it..??? after so many years..! Yup.. but i guess they are inevitable.. afterall.. circumstances are different.. and we have more responsibilities.. and other stuff ..
Ahhh.. those were the days..! i remember them all so clearly.. but like you .. i cherish then and also now.. and the future..
MB: Yup, the responsibilities can wear us down, and sometimes wear down the relationship if we let it…
Comment by Mama Bok — Thu, 28 Sep 2006 @ 7:56 pm
Err.. I wonder about that too sometimes..
Me and hubby will be celebrating our 8th anniversary end this year… but so much has changed.. Hmmm.. maybe nothing to celebrate. :{
ZM: Well, celebrate as a family then…
Comment by zara's mama — Thu, 28 Sep 2006 @ 8:45 pm
Realistically, I think it takes some effort to make a marriage work, after all we are no longer in the honeymooning period. No doubt there will be changes, so it’s important that you ride the changes together than to leave the other behind.
DR: Yup, that’s my point. I remember someone told me that the ideal situation is the couple move along together in the same direction. But for some, it’s just a crossing path and they move towards different direction after their paths crossed.
Comment by domestic rat — Thu, 28 Sep 2006 @ 10:13 pm
mine is so far so good.. I hope 9 yrs from now, I will be like you… enjoying marriage..
That’s what I call a blissful marriage..
Erika: Enjoying? Hardly…I wish it is better.
Comment by Erika — Fri, 29 Sep 2006 @ 2:49 am
天长地久有那么难吗?
Shouldn’t be tat difficult lah.
Ashes: In the best case scenario, not difficult. But how many best case scenarios are there? Another question is, will the love still be alive then?
Comment by Ashes — Fri, 29 Sep 2006 @ 9:36 am
A good post!
I always believe it takes two to make a marriage works, both parties must be equally involved in the marriage, and when kids come, we must still make an effort to spend some quality time as a couple!
Eileen: It’s especially important cos your spouse is who you’re going to spend the rest of you life with…not your children actually.
Comment by Eileen — Fri, 29 Sep 2006 @ 12:46 pm
i still find it hard to grasp the concept of marriage. personally, i don’t know what marriage can offer me that living together can’t. (unless i want children!) but 1 thing marriage & living together share is: both need to be worked on, otherwise the relationship becomes mundane and too caught up in daily chores and routine. the romance must not be allowed to fizzle out.
imp: Marriage involves too much practical elements like legality and legitimacy. After a while, these things, if it gets complicated, can take out the romance altogether.
Comment by imp — Fri, 29 Sep 2006 @ 1:22 pm
Mine is coming 7 years…and yes, it’s not easy to maintain the relationships as before. People do take each other for granted, especially when they know each other inside out.
But guess end of the day, we would still have to give it all a try…cz’ marriage is for life, I still believe, and there is definitely a need to keep things going on - and here, I mean not the sweetie romance which beginning couples engaged in, but good, old solid communication. Yes, true depth communication from the heart and not those superficial ones about children and daily routines.
To dear Sesame and all the folks out there…. take heart that everyone is feeling the same here in their marriages…..yup, marriages are hard work and let’s all give our best to nurture it
SSF: I’ve read some of the posts you’ve post lately and I agree with you about exercising wisdom…
Comment by sunshinensunflower — Fri, 29 Sep 2006 @ 3:05 pm
When my hubby was diagnosed with cancer, that was when I realised that I love him. I could not remember feeling such intense love for him at any other point before then.
Humans are like that. Perhaps its our ego and pride? Of not wanting to lose - we fight real hard when we know we are losing something. Of wanting our cakes and eat it - everything must be ours to keep. Of taking our loved ones for granted - failing to do unto them what we want them to do unto us. Its all about us.
Until its too late.
Lil’ Joy: You’ve gone through a lot…and you’re in a position to know why it really matters to cherish the other when we still have the time.
Comment by Lil' Joy — Sat, 30 Sep 2006 @ 1:51 am
After this many years of marriage, we take so much for granted and we take each other for granted. It’s good to remind ourselves why it is we got married in the first place. In the hustle and bustle of daily life, it’s so easy to forget. These days, we have to make time to just talk like we used to.
Is it hard? Well, harder than I thought it would be, but nothing a little conscious effort can’t solve.
Hsin: Yes, it is hard. Harder especially if the other party is out of syn with you…
Comment by Hsin — Sat, 30 Sep 2006 @ 8:38 am