Gavin sometimes calls me a hairy monster. Not because I’m exceptionally hairy but rather, I’ve hair on certain parts of my body that he doesn’t. Can you guess where?
For someone who usually leaves the bathroom door open when I bathe, I now have to mindfully close the door when my son is around or am at least wrapped in a towel. I no longer feel at ease changing in front of him.
In fact, since he turned two, I have become more conscious especially after once when he pointed at a picture of a lady in a magazine and said “same, same as mummy.” And the lady was clad in underwear.
This is another reason why I find it difficult to go out with him on my own especially if I have to use the toilet because he’s still too young to be left standing outside the cubicle by himself. However, if I let him stay inside the cubicle with me when I pee, he’ll scrutinise and then blurt out “eeeew, mummy scary, mummy hairy monster.”
You may say, well, he’s still too young and it doesn’t matter. But to me, impressions can start very early and have lasting effects. I’m not a prude but still, I don’t want to encourage my little boy to start early and think that viewing the female anatomy is a most natural thing to do. Or that he can go round tickling other girls’ bottoms or breasts for fun like he does with mine sometimes. Essentially, he must turn out to be normal and not warp (and not go round calling women hairy monsters.)
So I do need to be more responsible in terms of my own actions. But I’m kind of lost as to how best to deal with such matters as a woman. For example, while I know it’s natural for little boys of his age to be curious about their genitalia, I actually find it embarrassing when I catch him exploring his own willy sometimes and I don’t really know what to do except to slap his hands.
Hopefully his dad will be able to teach him about these things in time. Well, he better do. After all, he has more first-hand knowledge compared to me.
yaya…that is precisely why I go super upset when my mil bot rayner into the room with her when she changes and she’s the type who likes to go bra-less (can you imagine)…….oh my gosh…..how could she!!! but that was when she was still looking after the kids a year ago!
I too am very conscious when changing when the kids are in the room these days, try to do it in the toilet….usually does it in the bedroom but like what you say…..not a prude but just have to try to observe these small little things in life.
Jan: Some of the older folks are less sensitive about such things. One of my SIL was still bathing together with her son when he was 5 years old. Can die!
Comment by Jan (My lovely Rays) — Tue, 26 Sep 2006 @ 3:58 pm
i actually think that if the kids are old enough to comment, then it’s time mommies stop changing/peeing in front of the kids. my girlfriends do that as they rather not deal with ‘awkward’ questions/statements that their kids blurt out in front of others!
heee…leave it to the dad to teach him then!!! just remind the dad!
imp: I’ll just let him read this and go figure out what he needs to do…
Comment by imp — Tue, 26 Sep 2006 @ 4:25 pm
I also have the open door policy ……… that is, only until the questions start coming and I can sense a different level of awareness in them like starting to giggle when they see you naked, things like that.
mumsgather: Ya, the awareness is different…you can see the mischief and curiosity in those eyes as they grow older…
Comment by mumsgather — Tue, 26 Sep 2006 @ 5:30 pm
Sorrie but you really tickled me with this post!
Even with MM who has seen all, I still retain that bit of privacy when I go to the bathroom. To me, it’s just strange to share this ‘private’ part of ourselves with another, kid or no kid. Since Gavin is old enough to know the ‘differences’, yah, you need to keep your clothes on in front of him.
DR: I have always been like that…maintaining an open-door policy unless for big business. I thought it was perfectly normal. But it was also needed when Gavin was younger, to keep the door open so I can watch him from where I was cos I didn’t have help then.
Comment by domestic rat — Tue, 26 Sep 2006 @ 5:59 pm
Ok, I guess this is when I say ‘PHEW’… LOL!
Oh well, I have my awkward moments with my girls as well. Kelly told her teacher that I too wear pampers.. So there.
Comment by Lil' Joy — Tue, 26 Sep 2006 @ 8:50 pm
Btw, you have a handsome young man there
Lil’ Joy: Thanks. And Kelly told her teacher you wear pampers? Haha…I hope the teacher is a lady…
Comment by Lil' Joy — Tue, 26 Sep 2006 @ 8:51 pm
Hey..SS,
Having a girl .. also has its problem.. ! like for example my chloe..! she would tickle me.. and pinch my nipples.. at times.. and then she would ask.. wat’s that…??
We want to teach her the right thing.. but we also wonder if it is time yet..?? being only 33 months and all. To her it isn’t a huge deal.. but then when someone sees it.. they would think different. And like you … we donch want her to go pinching someone else’s nipples.. so yes.. i think i have to read up on this more.. to see where we stand..
MB: Chloe pinch your nipples too? Gavin does that as well and he thinks it’s call tummy. I suppose it’s always difficult to try to educate our kids about these things whether they are boys or girls. But at least if I have a girl, I know more or less what to watch out for. Quite clueless for a boy especially in terms of their psychology.
Comment by Mama Bok — Tue, 26 Sep 2006 @ 8:54 pm
I’m still changing or bathing together with Zara.. maybe b’cos she’s a girl..
I don’t know when to start stopping… Seems in our families, we normally are quite open and change in front of our kids, even with my nieces, up till this age (9 and 12), I’m still not ashame to change in front of them..
Yikes, that’s why I get annon comments in my blog to say that it’s improper to do so.. Can’t help here.
ZM: If Gavin’s a girl, I wouldn’t mind changing or bathing openly in front of him. I think it’s perfectly alright. I’m more conscious only because he’s a boy and I can’t figure his psychology.
Comment by zara's mama — Wed, 27 Sep 2006 @ 10:10 am
Our boys are around the same age, so i can absolutely identify with what you’ve written.
Me too, keep the bathroom door open except when i’m doing big business, until recently Damien asked me: “Mummy, why you got hair there?” Haha..how to answer him huh? I’m not ready to talk about birds and bees since he’s still so young, he might not understand.
I’ve also told hubby to spend more time with him, and tell him things that he should know as a boy!
Eileen: I was interested to know about your case too cos I’m sure you have some similar experience. Like Damien, Gavin started to look curious and the way he look is different now. Anyway, I told my husband to bring him to the toilet when we’re out these days. But hor, he also look at the dad in a funny way. Hahaha…
Comment by Eileen — Wed, 27 Sep 2006 @ 2:53 pm
Similarly we are also those open concept parents and I recalled one day the girls saw their daddy walked out naked from the bathroom to the walk-in wardrobe. At this short instance only they can noticed the most protruding parts of man. Most probably becos it’s at their eye level, their daddy is quite tall :p They were starring at it curously and I can see from their look, the eye is asking “what is that?”
Like mamabok said, we always want to teach the right things and I almost want to blur out “that is p***** ” Luckily I pulled the e-brake instanly! Cannot imagine if they have know the term and start pointing at those parts of other male and come telling me: “Mummy, uncle’s p*****!”
-_-”
Yes. I think children at this age are old enough to be curious about ‘this’ but are still too young for the exposure. If happen to, I’ll just simply brush over or distract them with other things.
wtpg: Lucky you pulled the brake. Cannot imagine the two cutie pies going round calling uncle’s p****!
Comment by wtpgrr — Thu, 28 Sep 2006 @ 3:18 pm