I visited my mum today and learnt from her that my nephew’s second child was born two weeks ago. The parents are elated and this time I bet they’re going to celebrate in a much bigger way when the baby turns one month old. Already their first child, a girl, had quite an elaborate celebration. So what’s more now that it’s a boy.
Yes, believe it or not, sex of the baby is a big issue for the young couple who are only in their late 20s. They have all along wanted very much to have a boy. While they are no Prince Akishino or Princess Kiko of the Japanese imperial family, having a son to ensure the continuation of their family line is still of utmost importance.
I know some of you are probably shaking your heads in disbelief and dismissing this as regressive views. But I also believe there are some of you who hold this belief. In fact, I know of someone like that, who has a daughter and is a lot younger than me. She actually told me that she prefers boys because she feels that daughters are a liability and in her exact words, 泼出去的水 which literally means “water to be thrown out”. JUST HOW LAME IS THAT LINE OF THOUGHT? I almost wanted to choke her then and even now, I still cannot believe she said those words.
This is Singapore I’m talking about. Not some third world countries where daughters are associated with a lower value and highly discriminated. Or some highly populous backward countries with an ongoing history of female infanticide.
I can only imagine it’s because of the conditioning that she, and many women like her, lived with. Perhaps their parents have been biased and had favoured their brothers. Or perhaps their in-laws have shown a clear preference for sons. And for a mother-to-be or a pregnant woman, can you imagine how stressful it is to have to constantly worry about the sex of the baby? On top of having to worry if the baby is healthy?
Personally, I prefer girls if I had a choice. But having said that, I’m still grateful for having Gavin. Because he’s my saviour and has spared me any unnecessary nagging from my MIL. And that’s the real reason why I love him. Not just because he’s my…boy.
Hey.. SS,
I’m being brought up to think that gals ain’t important either. My MIL had hope Chloe was a boy.. because the Killam’s line ends here.. no boys left.. all gals..! So not only the chinese.. or ppl from the 3rd world thinks this way.. but “gwai lo” also wants to have boys.
I was pretty shocked too.. when my MIL expressed her preferences.. and was really pressured to have a boy becuase of it.. more or less.
But because of my current health condition.. i cannot have another one.. or will be gambling with DEATH.
So .. my MIL just have to live with this fact.. or Papa BoK might just need to get a younger g/f or p/t lover.. hhahahhaa!!
MB: That’s interesting. I hadn’t realised the angmos also particular about having a family line. I did read on the net that a study in the US showed that couples tend not to divorce if they have a boy but no reason given.
Comment by Mama Bok — Sun, 24 Sep 2006 @ 10:13 pm
girls or boys doesn’t quite matter to me but having a boy does mean in a certain way I have done my duty as a dil by giving my in laws an male heir….kekekek
but like you sesame, i personally prefer girls to boys….Rayner must never know I have these thoughts…..kekeke
Jan: You’re lucky…cos you have the best of both worlds!
Comment by Jan (My lovely Rays) — Mon, 25 Sep 2006 @ 9:36 am
I prefer boys leh. If I get a chance to get married & happen to get pregnant, I will hope for a boy.
Reason not because of continuation of the family line & basically I’m also not sure wat’s the main reason I prefer a boy. But still if it’s a girl I will also be uber happy coz whether is a boy or girl they are my flesh & blood.
Ashes: Ya, I remember you told me this before. Haha…maybe you hope for your boy to look like Aaron Kwok or Rain?
Comment by Ashes — Mon, 25 Sep 2006 @ 10:08 am
I always thought that girls although do not hold the surname of the family, will be closer to their families when they grow older.
There’s also a saying, if you have a boy, you are just bringing him up for his MIL. But if you have a girl, you will eventually earn a son (SIL). I’m very happy I’m going to have another girl. My husband’s sirname is not uncommon, so I guess it’s ok. I just hope my MIL doesn’t blame me for having all girls and no boys, as my family tends to produce more girls. If she’s going to say that, I’ll ask her to go for a biology lesson!
And I’m definitely stopping at TWO, whatever it is.
ZM: Haha…to produce boys or girls actually is up to the man right?
Comment by zara's mama — Mon, 25 Sep 2006 @ 2:00 pm
I prefer girls too. I always feel that one must be very blessed to have girls. There are 3 girls and 1 boy in my families, even after we’re married and have children of our own, we are still very close to one another and our parents.
I hope i will have a girl if i got pregnant again…
Eileen: You’re so lucky to have sisters. I felt so lonely cos I was the only girl. But fortunately my mum used to say she prefers daughter and my dad doted on me so I felt quite good about that.
Comment by Eileen — Mon, 25 Sep 2006 @ 2:46 pm
I am not sure if I have any preferance.. but I think having girls is more worrysome leh.. I imagine myself worrying more when my daughter reaches her teens… haha, then again, perhaps I would also be worried if I have a son..
Erika: The way the society is becoming, I worry about my boy too.
Comment by Erika — Tue, 26 Sep 2006 @ 12:49 am
I prefer girls, frankly. Because I feel girls tend to be closer to family as they grow up. Danny preferred boys, till we had Sara. Now he prefers girls. Not that Nathan isn’t loved - he is very much so - but if we have more, I’d like a girl again.
Hsin: My sentiments too about girls. But like Nathan, Gavin is also much loved despite being a boy. I suppose it’s only human of us to have preferences.
Comment by Hsin — Tue, 26 Sep 2006 @ 9:30 am