Apart from the joy that comes from my boy, I realised that a lot of the contentment I’m feeling these days also stems from the satisfaction I derived from my work.
Never mind about being marginalised. Never mind about not having a namecard. Never mind the lower pay cheque. I’m truly happy and definitely more so than years ago when I was still a somebody in the corporate world. Honestly, whatever I did then gave me very little sense of meaning despite the glamour. I was just going with the flow and it was a life centered around how much I was worth and valued by organisations who were deemed only as pay masters. While I wouldn’t say it was all worthless, but I felt a big gap inside me, which snowballed to a huge sense of emptiness as the years went by. I just didn’t feel that I was doing anything really consequential despite the more exciting pace and bigger responsibilities.
It was a world I never belonged.
I’m really glad I took the step to quit the corporate world altogether and persisted in doing what I’m doing now. It’s not perfect of course and there are days which I feel completely disillusioned. But it is one job that brings me a whole lot more gratification, knowing that I’m given the chance to impact on some my fellow beings and open up their perspectives little by little. In turn, I’m also benefitting from their sharings and expanding my horizons.
I certainly hope I will continue to find zest in this work for a long time to come and not become jaded anytime sooner.
“Life is not a race, but a journey.” I try to remember that. What matters at the end of the journey is not how much glory I’ve accumulated. Rather, it’s about being able to go through my life with purpose and hopefully, emerge a better person.
Life is not a race, but a journey…will try to keep that in mind too….glad that you found true meaning of living and can I say you have attain enlightment liao….kekekek…cheeers
Jan: Enlightment? Haha…far from it lah. Just a comfortable level of contentment and happiness at the moment.
Comment by Jan (My lovely Rays) — Tue, 15 Aug 2006 @ 1:59 pm
Do you think as you grow, your purpose and things you want in life has changed?
I’m fine with being a nobody in a corporate world, as long as I find contentment being with my little girl.
ZM: Yes, priorities do change over time. But for me, I need some purposeful work to feed part of my soul. Family is one thing but I’ll be quite miserable if I cannot find something I like to do.
Comment by zara's mama — Tue, 15 Aug 2006 @ 3:54 pm
Glad to know that you are enjoying what you are doing now.
I share Zara’s mama’s sentiments, i am happy so long i know that Damien is growing happily and healthily…haha, he is everything to me.
Eileen: Well, it doesn’t always have to be working in that sense. Many mummies also find happiness giving up their careers to “work” on their children.
Comment by Eileen — Tue, 15 Aug 2006 @ 3:58 pm
How I wish I can be like you, to find something I really love doing.
Ashes: Don’t give up. You may find it one day. Don’t forget I worked over 10 years before I found something worthwhile for myself.
Comment by Ashes — Tue, 15 Aug 2006 @ 5:04 pm
Back in school, we used to wonder about this particular law professor who strikes you as a high-flyer but somehow chose the classroom over the courtroom. Everyone thought he must have screwed up big time in the corporate world and hence the crossover to teaching. Later someone was bold enough to ask him and all he said was he felt it was time to do something more worthwhile, to return something to society. I suppose none of us could understand what that meant for we were consumed by our ambitious dreams to want more, to achieve more.
I think it’s a phase everyone goes through. Call it growing up, if you will. Somehow life becomes more purposeful when you are onto something worthwhile not entirely for the money but that you have done something good within your limited sphere of influence.
DR: It’s true. When I was younger, all I cared about was the P&P (position & package).
Comment by domestic rat — Tue, 15 Aug 2006 @ 6:41 pm
Good for you that you find job statisfaction in your work! Majority of us dont get job satifaction not mentioning having a career of own interest. The least I am one of them. I hate my job for I dont have a sense of belonging. Because of the remurative package, I have to stay, for the sake of livinghood…
wtpg: In a sense, I’ve been rather lucky when it comes to work. I know what you mean but try not to hate your job since you’re in for the long haul. Find something positive to keep you going k?
Comment by wtpgrr — Tue, 15 Aug 2006 @ 6:42 pm
Maybe it is like a plateau thing.
Once one reaches that pinnacle of success … then one may want to look for something else which is more satisfying to do. I would assume that this comes with age and career advancement.
Or maybe that is just as good as it gets?
Loong: Perhaps for some people…but it wasn’t all like that for me. It was more an issue of finding meaning but maybe the age played a contributing factor.
Comment by Loong — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 @ 12:05 pm
I agree that family is important, but it is after all only one thing. I do want to achieve something for myself, to find something that I really love doing. In that, I hope I’ve stumbled upon the answer, but it will take perseverance to make it work…
Hsin: If you think you’ve found something for yourself, go for it even if it means taking a longer route. I didn’t have it easy at the beginning too. Had to be persistent and keep knocking on doors.
Comment by Hsin — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 @ 1:53 pm
Wah! Quite cheem for a pea brain like me… haha.
Sometimes I think I’ve found that something, sometimes not. Well, maybe it’s supposed to be like this. But yes, I agree that life is not a race, but a journey. True enough, I’ve never once stepped into that race… Perhaps, I should, one day, just to have a taste.
earthember: Yes, why not if you have a chance…life is also an adventure.
Comment by earthember — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 @ 12:51 pm