I think I may need some form of therapy because I believe I’m suffering from a minor mental disorder. I’m too obsessed with having a spotless face! So much so that each time I check the mirror, each time I feel that new spots have emerged or an old spot has grown larger. And what started out initially as an attempt to get rid of an irritating coin size pigmented spot has escalated into an uncontrollable desire for flawless white skin.
In all honesty, I have to say that my complexion has improved vastly after the first laser treatment. The irritating spot has indeed lightened up considerably. Yet I don’t seem to be satisfied. I keep thinking it can be better. As a result, I went for another treatment for some minor spots on the other side of my face. Now, I’m even thinking of doing another treatment to the original spot because there’s a hint of pigmentation again.
To sum it all up, I’m becoming more aware of my flaws and all I can think about whenever I look into the mirror is: WHEN TO HAVE ANOTHER LASER TREATMENT TO FIX MY SKIN? And this has been going on for quite awhile already. I didn’t think it was any problem until last week when I spoke to a colleague and realised that I’m fast becoming like her.
My colleague May, who is in her 50s, has had so many types of treatments done to her face for the past 20+ years that she cannot realistically identify which is actually most beneficial. She has progressed from non-surgical treatments to plastic surgery and even after a blotched up eye bag removal surgery, she recently braved a thread face lift which required tiny incisions to be made into her skull. As a result of that, she suffered some severe headaches due to a mild infection to the openings. The horrors of her experience!
May looks about 10 years younger than her actual age but I realised that throughout our conversation, she remained unhappy with her skin condition. She continues to be dismayed with her complexion even though I think she looks fantastic for her age. And it dawned on me then that she’s just obsessed. To the point that she would continue to do more just to improve what she perceived is bad skin. Which is just endless.
While I’m not at May’s stage yet, I know it’s not difficult to become increasingly obsessive if I continue in this self-indulgent. It’s good that I’m aware of this potential problem now and start keeping tabs on it. So what I need most at this stage is self control when it comes to judging my own skin, not necessary therapy. This doesn’t mean I’ll be stopping all treatments. Of course not. I will still continue as per normal but I’ll just settle for more realistic and less perfect expections.
Which means?
Erm, flawless white complexion with some spots? 
but you know the thing that I’ve noticed about woman in their 50’s with perfect skin is that if they aren’t flexible when they move they still look old. it’s all about balance between beauty and muscle tone to get that “flawless” look.
Comment by ally bean — Tue, 1 Aug 2006 @ 4:08 am
minor mental disorder?? you? no lar…isn’t it normal for woman to be vain and wanting to look as flawless as possible…don’t worry, you look very flawless already…what spots, what pigmentation? Nah!
I am worst than you despite being much younger, I hardly have the time to look and take care of myself ever since the kids came along. The kids come first now, perhaps when they are older, I will have more time to do damage control to myself…heehee
Comment by Jan (My lovely Rays) — Tue, 1 Aug 2006 @ 9:32 am
To be able to write this means you’re not beyond hope lah..hahaha..
And it’s true, you look great! 
I’m one lazy bum when it comes to skin care, i rather sleep than spend half an hour on a mask, lazy right? But as i aged, i think it’s really high time i spend more time ‘repairing’ the damages accumulated over the years…
Comment by Eileen — Tue, 1 Aug 2006 @ 11:12 am
It’s ok to be vain but dun over do it lah…keke…
Comment by Ashes — Tue, 1 Aug 2006 @ 12:34 pm
I would have invested alot on my face too, if not for the fact that my sensitive skin cannot undergo any abrasive sort of treatment, not even AHA peels, and that I’m too stingy to spend so much on my face; I would dump my money on gadgets or heehee… bags!
Comment by domestic rat — Tue, 1 Aug 2006 @ 12:42 pm
Flawless porcelain complexion?! Who donwan?! But one shdnt indulge and you are quick enough to realise that
Also, I feel that those type of “external booster” is not a one stop solution as once started,is endless so quite high maintainance.
To be vain, basic facial will be just essential and most importance, aged gracefully doesnt mean having flawless complexion but is the substances in you and i think,
YOU GOT IT!
Comment by wtpgrr — Tue, 1 Aug 2006 @ 1:39 pm
I laughed when I read your post. I mean, who doesn’t want a flawless face. Well, if you are as brown as I am, (TAN is my surname, no pun intended) all whitening creams are almost useless cos I turn olive instead. Still, I try to put on something cos, like you said, age is catching up, or has caught up.
Btw, I think your friend May has the ‘mental disorder’ instead, not you. But go slow on laser treatments, ok?
Comment by mother superior — Tue, 1 Aug 2006 @ 2:40 pm
I just tried one of those nose things where it takes out your blackheads. Hmmm … interesting stuff. Feels nice when you peel it off. Hehe~!
Comment by Loong — Tue, 1 Aug 2006 @ 11:47 pm
Sometimes I find we’re so ‘harsh’ with ourselves, always trying to find fault in our appearance. I think it’s a woman’s thing?
Go easy on yourself.. yeah?
Comment by zara's mama — Wed, 2 Aug 2006 @ 9:03 am
ally: I know what you mean. It’s like having a tatooed eyebrow with a head of grey hair. It’s totally off.
Jan: Vain ok, but not become obsessed. So you must remember to be vain when you have time.
Eileen: Must take care ok! How I wished I started earlier in my teens!
Ashes: Agree 100%.
DR: Hoho…tell me about AHA peels. Totally useless. So you didn’t lose out in anyway. I’m the opposite. Spend on skincare, no money for others.
wtpg: Wow, thank you for looking up on me leh…
MS: Naturally tan is okay, as long as the skin is good and from what I see in your pix, your skin is VERY GOOD!
Loong: You mean those Kao stuff? My husband loves them too and always showing off the end results to me.
ZM: Yeah, I’m trying.
Comment by sesame — Wed, 2 Aug 2006 @ 12:04 pm
I don’t care too much about my face. I don’t put stuff nor buy any facial products. For me, regular soap and water will do. But I don’t have flawless complexion. You should see the amount of freckles on my face. Well, perhaps, due to them, I’ve never thought of attaining “flawless-ness”.
Comment by earthember — Thu, 3 Aug 2006 @ 9:18 am
ee: Heheh. Proves that I’m more vain than you.
Comment by sesame — Fri, 4 Aug 2006 @ 8:36 am