I woke up in the middle of the night to check on Gavin and realised that my husband was not back.  Well, this was not the first time he’s back so late but I wasn’t happy last night.  I had expected him to come back earlier because of our sick child.

So I called him on his cell phone, gave him a piece of my mind and hung up on him.  When he eventually got home, I ignored him but the anger quickly subsided when he explained his reasons.

Due to his work and lifestyle, it is not unusual for him to be up late in the night.  I know he goes drinking with his friends sometimes and I don’t really mind as long as it’s not too late, and he doesn’t drink too much. 

However, I do get annoyed on days when I’m feeling insecure and wondering what he’s actually doing out there.   But cos I choose to believe that he’s doing what he says he’s doing, we usually have no problems.   

Am I being wise here, giving him so much personal space?  Or am I being foolish?  Especially compared to these other women I know. 

One is a younger relative who has been getting into nasty fights with her husband because he goes out clubbing in the night.  I heard it was so bad they had to resort to calling the police to quell the fights.  I have never spoken to her about these fights of course but I understand night entertainment is a regular feature for her businessman husband.

Another is a common friend whose husband plays golf with mine on a regular basis.  We used to be quite friendly until my husband started thinking poorly of her because she  does not approve of hers playing golf frequently.  As a result, her husband has had to go for games on the pretext of working.   She would of course never allow him to go out drinking late into the night.

I suppose everyone would have a threshold when it comes to this matter.  I used to be quite a control freak in the past.  Somehow I took it for granted that being a couple means their time are mutually exclusive and should only be spent on each other.  Now, for good or for bad, I don’t always request that my husband tells me his whereabouts.   And not that I’m very confident and secure.  I’ll be lying if I said I’m totally fine not knowing what he’s doing outside.  It’s just that I’ve learnt to let go bit by bit over the years and trying not to be overly dominant.  

Certainly I’m no expert but perhaps too much control is not always a good thing for a relationship to work.  Of course I’m also not suggesting that we should all go about running our lives independent of our partner.  It is necessary to strike a balance but the definition of the balance really depends on the couple in question.  Like I said, different people have different thresholds.

What about you?  How much personal space do you grant your partner, if any?

In the end, we went to watch the movie yesterday as planned.  We felt less guilty given that Gavin was taking his afternoon nap.   

I have been planning to watch a movie since February this year.  It did not exactly have to be THIS movie but it had to be something worthy of our time to the big screen.  So did we think it was worth it?

Well, it has an intriguing storyline.  But I did find some parts of the movie too predictable and there was no climax at all.  Tom Hanks was good, but not exceptional.  But I quite like Audrey Tautou, the lead actress.  She’s pretty and fairly credible in her role. 

It certainly helped that we haven’t read the book, and knew nothing of the story.  I know many who have read the book were disappointed with the movie.  So I plan to read the book only after watching the movie, if I can afford the time.  It also helped that we have gone to watch the movie purely for entertainment. 

Frankly I don’t quite get the controversy connected to this movie.  People can choose what they want to see, and what they want to believe in life.  A message which was also conveyed in the movie.  While I understand that a literary work as such based on religion is just inviting a crusade, protesters should also understand that those  who choose to watch the movie would have the maturity to realise that this is just fiction based on imagination, and not necessary facts. 

Overall, I would still say the movie was well worth our time. Especially since the tickets were free. 

In the pipeline is another movie which we plan to watch with Gavin.  It’s CARS, a Pixar animated film.  I’m sure Gavin will love it.  Already, he has been watching the trailers on the net a few times daily.  Hehe, I’m kind of excited too, just thinking about our first trip to the big screen with my boy.

Have made plans to watch Da Vinci Code this afternoon but have to shelf the plans for now because Gavin isn’t particularly well.

He has just recovered last week from a ear infection but is showing signs of developing another bout of flu.

Anyway, I have been neglecting him quite a bit these days.  Apart from the usual routines that we have been going through, I cannot find any energy to do new activities with him.  That, plus the fact that I’ve been rather busy with my work.  As a result, the maid has been keeping him company in the evenings until milk time when I take over.  I have been feeling extremely guilty, but yet, I have not done much to move out of this rut. 

It hit me finally last night that I’m too self-centred and it is impossible for me to have another child besides Gavin.  Which was really something I have secretly wished for since Gavin was born. 

While I am good with children, I am not crazy about them.  Having another child would change all the dynamics and might mean a strain on our current situation.  More importantly, I can never become a SAHM.  And not that I didn’t try.  I was a SAHM for a year after Gavin arrived and it was nothing pleasant.  Gavin would have turned into an abused child had I not saw what I was capable of and put a stop to it.

Instead of having to battle with two young kids and resenting them for taking away my space, I think I can cope better with the status quo. It’s really better for everyone.  Anyway, at my advanced age, another pregnancy would be too much of a challenge. 

So that’s it.  One kid for our family.  I haven’t said anything to my husband but I think he’ll understand.  Well, I hope so…

Last week, my husband brought my maid for her quarterly check up.  On top of the regular routine, she had to be sent for a chest X-ray this time.  So off they went to the polyclinic.

Apparently, they had to wait awhile as someone was being radiographed at that time. My impatient husband started to wonder aloud why it was taking such a long time.  My maid, who never had an X-ray done before responded that perhaps the person was taking the time to comb and groom himself or herself.  That was certainly amusing but I assure you that she wasn’t trying to be funny at all.  The silly woman really thought the process was similar to a photography session.

Anyway, we didn’t expect any problem with the X-ray.  However, she was obviously concerned.  After the film was collected the next day, she anxiously asked my husband how it had turned out.  The man, still amused by her previous response said this to her in a straight face: “It was ugly lah.  I think you forgot to comb your hair right?”

Having a baby can really alter a woman’s look.  Some more drastically than others. 

I swear some women look more fabulous after having babies while others, erm, look like mini or maxi fat cows (depending on the viewing angle). 

I just caught a glimpse of Dee Hsu or popularly known as Xiao S.  For those who don’t know, she’s the wacky host of the popular Taiwanese talk show Kangxi Lai Le and she’s has just given birth earlier in the year to a baby girl.

While not exactly looking like a cow, she’s definitely looking more fattened now. Her breasts are looking less perky, and her arms and tummy are slightly flabby still.  Well, nothing unusual for someone who has just given birth and perhaps still breastfeeding. 

But it was really the face that made the difference.  No more the oval, melon-seed-shaped face.  In replace, we now have a MATERNAL looking Dee Hsu.  SHE HAS TRANSIT FROM THE GIRLIE LOOK TO THE MOTHERLY LOOK OVERNIGHT!

Yes, that’s right!  Women tend to take on a certain glow before and after giving birth.  Some take on the MATERNAL glow, making them look less attractive than before.  While others revert to their normal looks or some even look better than before.  I wonder if this has to do with one’s changing hormones or perhaps, the amount of energy spent during the delivery?

Personally, I think I had the maternal glow initially but it is disappearing by the days.  That, or I’m just seeing too much into the mirror…