It’s close to 3am in the morning and instead of sleeping, I’m up surfing the web for info on Johnny Depp aka Captain Jack Sparrow of Pirates Of The Caribbean. 

OMG!  HE’S SO SEXY CAN?  WHY DIDN’T I NOTICE HIM EARLIER?  TO THINK THAT I WASTED SO MANY LOST OPPORTUNITIES OF EYE CANDY…*sob sob*

Well, the simple reason is:  I’ve never watched Pirates Of The Caribbean until last evening.  Somehow I just missed the first show altogether.  But when  I saw the trailers for the upcoming Dead Man’s Chest, I knew I MUST watch this movie.  My eyes literally lit at the sight of Captain Jack.  THAT PIRATE ROCKS!  

I’m quite embarrassed to say that the only Captain Jack I know until recently is Takuya Kimura’s spoof of the character on SMAPXSMAP.  Now that I’ve watched the real Captain Jack in action, I have to say that Takuya did a smashing job of impersonation.   In fact, I think his mimic added weight to my new interest in Captain Jack.   Captain Jack, Takuya.  Takuya, Captain Jack.

And man!  I didn’t even know I have the DVD of The Curse Of The Black Pearl at home all this time.  What a moron!

Actually, I also like Orlando Bloom cos he’s such a cute dude.  But it’ really Johnny Depp who takes the cake in the show.  He’s so over-the-top as the funny and endearing Captain Jack with the whole get-up, the slur, the gestures and the head wiggle.  I’m completely mesmerised!

No Superman for me.  Superheros are too sci-fic and nerdy for me.  Gimme pirates!  Gimme Captain Jack!

Disclaimer: Sleazy adult content ahead.  If you are a prude and consider sexual discourse a taboo that compromises your morals, please exit NOW.  

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I was surfing the web for news on Takuya Kimura and came across this *hehe* rather amorous report from Mainichi Daily News. 

AnAn, one of Japan’s leading women’s magazine on fashion and lifestyle sold about 500,000 of its May 31 edition because it was bundled with a porno flick “Dirty DVD for Girls.”  That was 200,000 more than their usual monthly sales!  

HELLO?  Ladies going for porno flicks openly in an Asian society?  Isn’t that so interesting?

With pornography so prevalent in Japan and sexually explicit materials abundantly available in many Japanese grocery stores and vending machines, this really shouldn’t come as any surprise.  But I personally find it hard to imagine legion of fair and gentle Japanese maidens rushing out in frenzy to eagerly snap up a magazine because of the porno flick.  It speaks volumes of the changes in gender perception and smacks of so much sexual liberation that we ladies from some of the other parts of Asia will probably never get to experience this lifetime.  I. AM. ENVIOUS.  

“Dirty DVD for Girls” comes in two parts, each of which is about 15 minutes long. Apparently, it’s softporn and there are no close-up scenes of genital fondling or ejaculation.  It’s the sort which focuses more on the looks of the men appearing in the films and the atmosphere of the places where the sex is happening.  The synopsis:

Picture the scene… A woman wearing a floral micro miniskirt and white jacket enters a room with her boyfriend. He gently sits her down on a chair and approaches her from behind. He raises her arms and wraps a blindfold around her. She seems worried as he slides a hand into her underwear. Later, she stands naked, facing a window offering a glorious nighttime skyline view as he approaches her from behind and slowly penetrates…

According to the Mainichi report, a 41-year-old Japanese housewife agrees that women like dirty DVDs and said it’d be really nice if rental video stores had sections for adult movies targeting women.

Hmmm…Suppose one of our leading female magazines decides on such a sex-themed marketing blitz, would our women rush out to buy something like that openly, assuming it’s legal?   Or would they find it totally vile and offensive? 

Well, I don’t know about them.  But as someone who has in the past, occasionally enjoyed a dose of cinematic softporn, I would buy.  Disgusting?  Oh for goodness sake,  I never claimed to be virtuous did I?

I hate court shoes.  Especially new ones.  They’re such a torture.  Like this new pair which was bought some years ago but only worn last Friday.  BIG MISTAKE! 

After wearing them for just a few hours, I couldn’t even walk properly for 100 metres.   My crammed toes were crying to be let out from that ill fitting toe box.  On top of that, the back of my right ankle was so badly blistered that the skin was tearing.  I should have just worn my old pair which was slightly more comfortable.  SUCH MISJUDGMENT!

I hardly wear court shoes except for formal presentations when I have to don my powersuit and look polished.  On most working days when I’m not out in the open under scrutiny, I put on my open toes platform shoes.  While I really feel that court shoes should be made defunct and be banished from this earth forever, I still have to wear them because having my pretty pedicured toes properly concealed speaks volume of my professionalism.  WHAT PRETENSIONS!

Besides the bad blister on the back of my right ankle, both my big toes were numbed the next day and I even spotted bruises beneath the nails.  This happens every time I wear my court shoes.  So tell me, who invented these type of shoes and who set the norm for wearing such shoes for formal presentations?  CRUCIFY THEM!

Have been tagged by Black Belt Mama on twenty things I dislike. I thought it shouldn’t be too difficult but I took a while longer than expected to figure these:

1. I dislike mess.  My temper will flare if I come back to a messy home.
2. I don’t like unpacking after a shopping or grocery trip. 
3. I don’t like to iron.  I’ll rather mop the floor than do that.
4. I hate cockcroaches.  They’re smelly and repulsive!
5. I don’t like to drink coffee.  It gives me a headache.
6. I don’t like beansprouts in my noodle soup.  The combination taste awful.
7. I hate it when I have a whole lot of work to do and my son is whining.
8. I don’t like to shop when there are too many people.  I feel totally disoriented.
9. I don’t like to take afternoon naps.  I find sleeping a waste of time.
10. I dislike receiving cold calls from salespeople trying to sell me their stuff.
11. I don’t like to put on blusher and eyeliner.  Because I don’t know how.
12. I don’t like to put on sunglasses.  They leave a mark on my nose bridge.
13. I hate the sun.  Because it wreaks havoc on my pigments and complexion!
14. I hate court shoes.  They hide my pretty feet and destroy my pedicure.
15. I hate to put on power suits.  They’re too masculine no matter how they’re cut.
16. I hate networking at social situations.  I just can’t be THAT plastic.
17. I hate men who cheat on their wives.  For example, Brad Pitt.
18. I dislike weak people who cannot get a grip on themselves.
19. I hate people who are arrogant and think the world owes them a living.
20. I hate bitchy looking women with a high pitch voice.  They remind me of chiwawas.

Wanna try this meme?  Feel free!

P/S: I HATE MONDAYS!    

We finally made it to the big screen to watch CARS together this morning! It was Gavin’s first trip to the movies and both of us were far more excited than him. 

Our ride, however, did not started out all that smoothly. 

When we got into the darkened theatre, the trailers were already being played.  As soon as we sat down, Gavin was whimpering to get out.  Daddy had to bring him out for a while to settle his mood.  Luckily, he was able to coax the boy into the theatre again when the cute Pixar trailer ”One Man Band” was played before the movie began.  And as soon as Gavin saw the familiar red Lightning McQueen on the screen, he was happy to settle down to watch the movie with us.  In fact, he was so enthralled that he never once took his eyes off the screen for the whole two hours.  Even I found the movie delightful though half the time, I was busy feeding Gavin and making sure that he was warm enough.   

CARS is a great movie complete with superb animation, cute characters, distinct personalities and most important, a moving storyline with the right amount of serious and light moments. 

I have to admit that I am not one who is keen on animated movies with the exception of Hayao Miyazaki’s.  Plus I was quite skeptical after I have read that this car auto racing and the route 66 is an American nostalgia which non-American audiences would not be able to connect.  But this animated movie actually made me, a non-American, cried and laugh all at once.  This is definitely not just about American nostalgia.  While the story is set in an American context, I found it easy to relate to because it really is about hope in a small town, and finding beauty in simple living.  There is not one single human character, yet, it all felt so humane.

I’m so glad we brought Gavin for this movie.  At least, it was something to mark the end of his school holidays.  We’ll certainly be adding this movie to his DVD collection as soon as it’s available.