I’m blogging from Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf. It’s usually quiet here but this morning, there’s a bunch of yakking apes who are disturbing my peace. Oi, can shaddup or not? But of course my thoughts are inaudible. :neutral:
Anyway, I was in a foul mood this morning because of some idiotic taxi drivers who were terrorising the roads. But my equanimity has been restored with a cup of earl gray tea and a breakfast set. Yup, I’m a simpleton. Food can make me very happy.
K, before any of you start to grumble, THIS IS NOT A POST ABOUT BREAKFAST. I have something else to say. But hey, I cannot blog on an empty stomach right?
Remember Brigitte Lin Chin-hsia? I believe most Chinese Asians know her. A popular Taiwanese actress of hopelessly romantic movies in the 70s. She’s now 52, married to businessman Michael Zing with a daughter. I just read that she’s trying to conceive another baby, specifically a boy to carry on the Zing family line. I hope she’ll succeed because she’s right there with Madonna as my role models for late motherhood.
After reading this rumour, I started thinking about the reasons people want to have kids. Here are some other common reasons that I can rattle off the top of my head:
- we love children
- it’s the most natural thing to do
- to give life to another life
- to complete the family
- to experience parenthood
- it’s a blessing from God
- to be entertained
- to have someone to nurture (or boss around)
- to showoff as a family trophy
- to compete with my sibling, friend, cousin, etc.
- for tax reasons
Before I had Gavin, my mum and a friend urged me to have at least one kid. Their reason? Your husband may abandon you if you do not have a kid. They must be kidding! But my friend actually cited a couple she knew personally as a case study. According to her, the wife couldn’t conceive and to retain the marriage, allowed her husband to take a mistress for the purpose of procreation. Incredulous in this modern age? Unimaginable? But it is true and it did happen. Have a kid to retain the love of your husband. Yeah, add that to the list of reasons. But whether you have a kid out of your own womb is something else.
I never wanted to have a kid for the longest time. I was just PLAIN SELFISH. Which is why I waited till I was very old to try for a baby. Anyway, there was no specific reason why I wanted to have a kid. I just felt I SHOULD. A non-maternal obligatory reason. My husband, on the other hand, felt differently. When I asked him why he wanted a child, he told me this.
“TO HAVE A little YOU, OR A little ME.”
And I thought that was really a sweet answer coming from a guy.
That is very sweet!
Comment by blackbeltmama — Thu, 20 Apr 2006 @ 1:17 pm
Awww..! so sweet of your hubby..!!
I wanted to have a kid.. because i love children..! I asked Papa BoK why he wanted a kid.. his reply.. “because YOU want one..!” so un - lo -man - tic hor..!!!
And they say the “ang moh” very the lomantic..!!! nonsense..!!!
Comment by Mama Bok — Thu, 20 Apr 2006 @ 1:26 pm
That was a sweet one from your hubby..
I married b’cos I wanted to have a kid.. I thought my biological clock is ticking, and I’d better do this fast.. If hubby didn’t want to get married then, I would have dumped him.
Why do I want a kid?? Because I love children I guess. But since we took so long to get one, I really enjoyed those carefree days.. I even got depressed the 1st month I had Zara b’cos thn it sank in that life is going to be different, no more go anywhere as you please, sleep anytime you want to etc. But then.. if you ask me if I would do all over again.. I would.. no regrets.
Comment by zara's mama — Thu, 20 Apr 2006 @ 1:41 pm
Ahhh..you hubby is really really sweet…:)
Well, the decision to have a kid just come naturally to us, we never really think of a reason why leh..hehe..perhaps because we both love kids!
Though alot of my friends commented that they can’t imagine me being a mother cos i’m just like a big kid (childish lah)..haha.. ;P
Comment by Eileen — Thu, 20 Apr 2006 @ 3:06 pm
That was a really sweet one from your hubby!
Another reason to have kids - because your in-laws say so, especially rich in-laws. My gf is under intense pressure to produce a male offspring to carry on the lineage. The irony is the FIL doesn’t mind, it’s the MIL who’s praying hard for the external contraption.
Comment by domestic rat — Thu, 20 Apr 2006 @ 3:07 pm
So it looks like for most of the mothers here, and some fathers too, it’s for the love of kids. But it’s true that some pple are having kids for other reasons. Like DR’s friend. She’s in the same league as Lin Chin-hsia. Marrying into rich family and being expected to carry on the family line by producing a boy.
Comment by sesame — Fri, 21 Apr 2006 @ 8:44 am
I wanted kids becos I felt kids make a family complete now now, that doesn’t mean I am bored with my hubby but this is how it works lor….
To have a little you or a little me ah….that’s so sweet leh!!!
Comment by Jan (My lovely Rays) — Fri, 21 Apr 2006 @ 12:20 pm