I’ve finished two of Murakami’s books over the weekend.
- The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle
- South Of The Border, West Of The Sun
I think I lilke Kafka On The Shore better than these two. The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle is an interesting read, but it’s really a long story. Very long. 607 pages in length! The other book is not much to read. Short and lacking in depth.
In the Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, the protagonist and many of the people related to him have had their lives changed forever either through an event, a person or a new place. And this made me think about my trip to Tibet a few years ago, how that has affected and changed my perspective in life.
In retrospect, I suppose the trip was a spiritual one for me. I had very deep yearnings to go there for the longest time. I just had to be there, by hook or by crook, before I depart from this world. I knew in some sense, my life would not be complete without going there at least once. I cannot explain that feeling very precisely.
All I can say is that whenever I looked at pictures of Tibet, or pictures of Tibetans, I felt a strange but strong stir of emotions inside me. It’s like I was a part of them and there was a need for some homecoming. Somebody commented that I might have been a Tibetan in my previous life. Hehe…a nice thought, but I very much doubt that.
I didn’t go to Tibet with intentions to seek out any spiritual healings. But strangely, I had very interesting encounters. Nothing which I have planned in advance. One was meeting a Taiwanese DJ and tagging along with him to meet Karmapa Lama. Yes, this is the same Karmapa Lama that later fled to India. Another was meeting a Sri Lankan Lama and being blessed by him. I also met a Lama who invited me to his reclusive abode up in a mountain and I ended up giving him two of my t-shirts as keepsakes.
All these meetings had very strange effects on my feelings. The feelings were so overwhelming for me that I remember weeping at that time. Just looking at the devotees kneeling and praying outside Jokhang temple had the same effects. The emotions would just well up inside me for no reasons. Even now, as I recounted them, I still feel that way.
Anyway, I sensed a permanent change in myself after coming back from Tibet. The change was subtle and gradual, but it was certainly irreversible.
Not that I had became a better person. Ha, no. I just became more grounded and more at peace with myself. I was no longer restless and drifting about aimlessly. I started to accept having a normal life and thinking about having a child. I was in a sense, able to see my life clearer and took proactive steps to improve it. While I didn’t become more religious than before, I started to appreciate the smaller things in life. And I knew very well inside me, it was the trip that started that change.
In a way, the trip was a dream come true for me. However, if you ask me, I no longer want to be back in Tibet again. I can’t explain this too well. Maybe it’s because of the destruction that I’ve seen that has happened there. Maybe I’m just afraid that going back will reverse something in me. Or maybe I just want to keep it special.
wow, must have been a refreshing trip for you. So would you suggest people to go there?
Comment by Erika — Tue, 18 Apr 2006 @ 11:05 am
how did you managed to finish reading 2 books over the weekend? no sleep no eat ah??? kekekekeke
Comment by Jan (My lovely Rays) — Tue, 18 Apr 2006 @ 12:01 pm
Two books at one go??? Walau… you are fast! I have not finished Immortality yet!
Coincidentally, a friend did asked if I were keen on Tibet cos her shifu (she’s a Buddhist) is bringing a group to Tibet in August to attend the grand ceremony. I’m still debating…cos’ there are tons to do in August.
Comment by domestic rats — Tue, 18 Apr 2006 @ 12:12 pm
Wow, i suppose this trip brings peace and tranquility to your mind, it’s certainly worth it!
For me, i’ve always wanted to visit Japan since my early teens! Hmm..hope i don’t have to wait till i’m old and wrinkled to make that trip..haha.. :p
Comment by Eileen — Tue, 18 Apr 2006 @ 12:25 pm
Aw.. I’d always wanted to go to Tibet too.. but it’s tough now that I have Zara.
How long were you there? Did you go with hubby?
Maybe when Zara is older, probably can bring her along.. maybe.
Comment by zara's mama — Tue, 18 Apr 2006 @ 3:40 pm
Erika: Tibet is not a place for everyone. My husband for example didn’t like it and the trip meant nothing for him. So unless you are keen to visit it, I wouldn’t recommend.
Jan & DR: The key word here is finished. Haha…I was reading the Chronicle for a week and finished it on Sunday. The other book is so thin I finished in a couple of hours before bedtime.
DR: The timing doesn’t seem that good isn’t it. You’ll be cutting it too close to your wedding. I would advise against it cos sometimes trips like that can make you sick.
Eileen: Whoa, I love Japan too and would like to go there. But I can still rest in peace if I don’t get that chance. But not Tibet. I would die with my eyes opened if I missed it. Hahaha…
Zara’s Mama: Yup, I went with my husband. Very hard to bring a toddler. Even my husband suffered for a week from altitude sickness. She has to be much older to be able to acclimatized. Hey, btw, I have problems accessing your blog these few days. It asked me to run this Active X and either way, the browser just close by itself when I click.
Comment by sesame — Tue, 18 Apr 2006 @ 3:50 pm
You will love Japan! There are so many things to buy there so do hand over your plastic to hubs while you are there. Don’t be like me. Did my sums wrongly and ended up paying close to $200 for a pair of pants which I only wore twice.
Comment by domestic rat — Tue, 18 Apr 2006 @ 8:44 pm
DR, I’m sure it’ll be fun. The only place I’ve been in Japan is the Narita airport. I would love to eat the Ramen there for sure!
Comment by sesame — Wed, 19 Apr 2006 @ 8:33 am
[...] I felt sad reading today’s special report “Ride to the roof of the world” in The Straits Times. It’s awesome no doubt, to be able to travel across the mountainous plateau on the highest railway in the world. In fact, seeing some of the pictures stirred many emotions for me and I almost felt like visiting the place again. But of course I know I never really will. Because the Tibet I knew will never be the same. While not completely lost, I’m certain that its character and spirit will be altered irreversibly. [...]
Pingback by Casserole of my life » The sky train to irreversibility — Sat, 16 Sep 2006 @ 7:51 pm
[...] would never want to visit Tibet again even though it has a special place in my heart. I have seen for myself how much the invasion, the destruction and the uglification [...]
Pingback by On the uglification of Tibet » Casserole of my life — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 @ 12:31 pm