He didn’t say it, but it’s obvious.
It started with small tantrums of not wanting to wear his PE attire. Then this morning, he wanted to put on his home clothes.
I know. He doesn’t want to go to school.
Monday morning, he clinged on to me and refused to stepped into the classroom. He cried a little when I went to the toilet but was fine thereafter. Wednesday and Thursday morning, same thing happened. This morning, his cries turned to sobs and he was visibly distressed.
I stood outside his classroom the whole time to observe him. He was fine last week, even happy. So what had happened?
Then it dawned on me. He was trying to please me the whole time because I had asked him not to cry and to behave himself! Oh…my silly little boy! I so much wanted to stepped in to comfort him. But, I refrained myself and left the school instead, feeling a little disconsolated.
Darn! This is just so difficult. On one hand, I hate to see him so unsettled. On the other hand, I do want him to learn to become more self-reliant.
Then I picked up my copy of John Gray’s ”Children Are From Heaven” and read a bit, hoping to make sense of my feelings.
Children need compassion and help, but they also need their unique challenges to grow. Their unique obstacles to overcome are actually necessary for them to become all that they can become.
Yeah, that made sense. But I can’t say for sure it helped me feel any better.
I know exactly how you felt, sesame. We want our boy to be independant, yet we wished we could be there for them when they’re unsettled..it’s not easy, really! Don’t worry, Gavin is a brave boy, he’ll be able to overcome his fears!
*hugs, hugs* Let’s hold our hands together and tide through this!
Comment by Eileen — Fri, 13 Jan 2006 @ 1:00 pm
Hey..SS,
so cheer up..!! 
It must be really hard..! i know it would be for me..! hang in there g/f..!
I think all children go thru’ this kinda stages.. but children are more resilient.. than we wanna give them credit for..
Comment by Mama BoK — Fri, 13 Jan 2006 @ 1:09 pm
Thanks ladies! He actually sobbed the entire 3 hours. Didn’t stopped until he was picked up and came home! But now that I’m back home, he’s very happy again and chatting non-stop again. Must do more programming over the weekend.
Comment by sesame — Fri, 13 Jan 2006 @ 3:41 pm
Try talking to him to see if there is anything that is disturbing him. Check with the school also, if there was any particular event that had happened on Friday. If really there is nothing to worry about, it’s actually quite a normal behaviour for 1st timer to school. Tantrum after a break, even a one day public holiday can affect the routine. Give him a big hug before leaving, and reasured him you will be back to pick him. And don’t be late in picking, else you will lose the trust and faith in him. Sometimes, giving him a little present at the end of the class, is a good form of encouragement. Something I learnt from somewhere, and it worked for Eu. It can be anything, even one of his favourite toy he owns. I know how it hurts to hear your own child cries for you. Hang in there!
Comment by kwai yoke — Fri, 13 Jan 2006 @ 5:57 pm
Hey Kwai Yoke, thanks for the advice! I must hug him before I leave next time. I always just leave without saying goodbye properly. Just hope he’ll not cling on to me even more. The present is also a good idea. Must try that next week. Actually I only send him to school, but I do not pick him up after his lessons.
Comment by sesame — Fri, 13 Jan 2006 @ 9:02 pm
You are doing well!! And so is he.
Just hope one day, school will interest so much that he’ll go just for the sake of going, but not to please mummy or trying to be brave.
When my turn comes, I’ll probably need some wise advice from those who’d gone through this. i.e. YOU!
Comment by zara's mama — Fri, 13 Jan 2006 @ 10:45 pm
I would do anything to make Ophelia leave the house with me in the morning – including not making her wear her uniform. As long as she’s happy, she can wear anything she wants (but must be “something” lah – cannot go to school naked right?). That pacified her alot and after getting used to school, the separation anxiety subsided.
Comment by the diva — Sat, 14 Jan 2006 @ 12:39 am