We were supposed to have loads of fun over the weekend. Well, I believe Gavin did because he was quite upset at having to leave the chalet this morning. He was quite well entertained throughout the two days and slept in rather well.

I did not really enjoy myself thoroughly though. Something happened on Saturday and dampened my spirit almost completely. Thank goodness Godma came over yesterday and after chatting with her, I felt better. Funny thing she’s not a mummy but she’s often able to give me wise counsel.

I was so upset on Saturday. Even though I’m feeling better now, my heart is still hurting. Hurting for my dear son, who has been grossly discriminated because of his lack of social skills. I am glad that he’s too young to understand it all, but it pains me to know that my child has been deemed different because of his behaviour.

The Montessori school has rejected Gavin’s enrollment and you know what crap they told me? They said they think Gavin display symptoms of autism!!! Fuck them! What do they know about my son? How much time have they interacted with him? How much do they know about autism to say such a thing?

I knew they were driving at something the first time I sent Gavin for a trial lesson. But now they’ve said it. Openly. In my face. They claimed that they’re not experts but they’ve confirmed one suspect case before. So I should send my son for some examination.

I never once thought my son is autistic. He is very communicative and anyone who has spent a bit more time with him has commented that he’s rather talkative. So on what basis did they based their suspicions?

First, that Gavin did not take well to instructions from teachers after a 3-hour trial lesson. Second, he was a little rough with some of the kids by grabbing their necks. Third, it was strange that he would grab the teacher’s legs and it was stranger that he liked to line up his toys in rows and lay the plates neatly. Fourth, that he didn’t like to join in the group’s activities and would wonder off. Fifth, he ran out of the classroom twice when the door was opened. Finally, because he pulled one of the Malay teacher’s tudong and it was unbecoming behaviour of a toddler coming to three!

This is the sms they sent me yesterday.

We are unable to take Gavin in as we are not able to provide the individual and special attention he needs. Take pulling at teacher sarinah’s tudong for example, we would expect this behaviour of an eight month old. We feel that this is an inappropriate social response for Gavin who is a child coming to three. Please seriously consider getting Gavin assessed. If our suspcions are true, then early training by specialists to teach appropriate social skills will benefit Gavin if he starts early.

I am well aware that Gavin lacks social skills because he is our only child and doesn’t have much opportunities to interact with other kids. This is the reason why I want to send him to school. However, he loves to interact with other children and teenagers and would go up to them to say hello or smile. He sometimes gets over enthusiastic and hugs the other kids but come on, he is a kid. How gentlemanly must he be as a toddler?

Gavin is also able to interact with the adults, sometimes to the extent of poking fun at them. He could be shy at initial contact but as soon as he warms up to them, he will talk incessantly to get their attention. Isn’t this normal for a kiddo???

And about grabbing the legs. Good grief!!! It is a sign of affection and he is at that height. If we are standing and he wants to hug us, where else could he hug us???

Pulling the tudong? Ha! He didn’t pulled the tudong. He hit the teacher on the head! It was definitely wrong of him but my deduction is that he did it out of curiosity because it was the first time he came into contact with a Malay wearing a tudong at close range. I made him apologised and he did and even gave the teacher a hug. He never did it again after that one time.

About him lining up his toys. I noticed he does that frequently. Though I am not certain why he does it, but I suspect he might have inherited my need to be organised. Okay, maybe it could be a sign of OCD. But autistic??? I also know other kids do this sort of thing. So is it really that strange?

As to why he wouldn’t join in the group’s activities, I don’t know. But I remembered that as a young kid, I detested such communal gathering too. Once, my primary school teacher brought me to a Church and I found all the group singing, praying, etc all out of place. I just don’t feel I belonged. So was I abnormal?

Gavin would joined in activites he found fun, like the water activities. But he doesn’t like stuff like throwing bean bags into the hula hoops. He would rather play with the hoops. And the first time when he went for the lesson, he had this habit of snatching other’s toys. But when I told him no, he never did it again.

My husband was furious when I told him and when I suggested we bring him for an examination, he called me weak minded. I was rather upset that I didn’t get his emotional support at that point. However, after I cooled off and thought about it, I realised he was right. My husband is confident about his child’s abilities. I was not and I was weak because I was influenced by some idiots who think they know all.

Godma who has been in contact with autistic kids told me she cannot see anything wrong with Gavin. Her two-year old nephew likes to kick stuff dogs. Her friend’s two-year old son runs around in a restaurant and lies on the floor to whine. Some of her friend’s kids can’t even talk at about three or four. So after listening to her, I wonder if we have a society full of autistic kids as long as they cannot conform to certain sets of prescribed behaviour?

The fucking school is just prejudiced. I noticed that most of their regular students are well-behaved and many are girls. My feel is that they just want well-behaved students in order to have an easy life. If they’re not interested in Gavin, just say so rather than giving me all the hums and haws and now, this! They’re just trying to justify their lack of interest in my son and I seriously doubt their capabilities as educators.

Nobody who has seen Gavin has ever said he’s abnormal. All his developments have been normal and he is able to speak properly and has quite a wide vocabulary. He knows his ABCs, 123s, his colours and shapes and he can even sing some songs and recite some nursery rhythms. In fact, the Malay teacher commented that he can speak very clearly. He displays a clear interest in people even though he maybe shy. He maintains clear eye contact and can be a little cheeky at times. As a child, he is like the rest who throws tantrums occasionally but he can also be obedient and respond to instructions.

They themselves (husband and wife team) have a daughter and I wonder if they know that boys are different and can be a challenge. Boys are just more mischievious and hyper. And isn’t there this thing about unique personality? So how can they be so prejudiced and tell a mother that her child is special when they’re not even experts??? And based on how many hours of observations? KANNIBEI CHAO CHEEBYE!!!