casserole of my life


Stop being a perfectionist

concocted on Tue, 30 Aug 2005 @ 9:02 am for Musings

I tell you, it’s hard work to be a perfectionist. I know. Because I am one. I am a perfectionist in everything, from the critical to the paltry. I like everyday to work out as I’ve planned, and I like everything to be in order. I detest it when the order is screwed up. I will show my wrath to whoever who contributes to that upset and it doesn’t help that I have an extremely short fuse. When I’m angry, I don’t give a damn, but I will usually regret my behaviour when I’ve collected my thoughts. By then, hateful words have been hurled and feelings have been hurt.

I’ve tried to contain my need to be perfect. I’ve even stopped believing that life could be perfect. But I’ve obviously not mastered the art of nonchalance. It takes time, and it takes patience, which sometimes is lacking for me. Maybe one day, someday, I’ll attain perfect equanimity. Again, this is hard, but it’s not impossible. I’ve achieved more self-control over these three years. But it’s not perfect good enough yet.

So for a start, I should let go of trying to perfect the look of my blog. I’ve been at that for days and everytime I look at it, it’s just not good enough. Worst thing is that I’ve discovered that while I’ve tried to perfect it to look great in the IE environment, it doesn’t look the way I want under Firefox. And it’s not like I’m a html-css-xhtml-php expert. Enough is enough! If this blog is for my own gratification, then I should be happy with what I see under IE because that’s what I use. Just forget about Firefox… for the time being.

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