Stumbled upon another fellow’s colleague blog earlier on some mumsy stuff while using the office’s PC. It’s called happybusymom and almost every entry in her blog revolved around her kids. So it had me wondering if she had spent every wakeful moment thinking only about her kids. I believe people blog about what they think mostly. So if she blogs about her children all the time, then they must be her chief preoccupation.

I made a comparison of her blog contents with mine and realized that I am truly less maternal than her. Sure, my boy is important to me and I think about him frequently, but I also think about a gazillion other things - money, shopping, celebrities, gossips, food, other people, enemies, TK, Prada, work, blah, blah, blah as reflected in my blog entries. It’s a mishmesh of thoughts, some of which are really frivolous, even about Gavin. And I am that sort of mum who don’t even call home to check about my kid when I have to work outside the entire day.

Seriously, I don’t know who this colleague is, but I am amazed by her devotion and that of some other mummies. Mummies who quit their job or give up their interests for their kids, for example.

I didn’t quit my full-time job because of my boy. I quit because I wanted to do something different for myself, and that was way before Gavin was born. So, it’s by-the-way kind of arrangement that I don’t work long hours outside, and can spend more time with him whenever I can. I didn’t have it all planned because of Gavin. But in order not to sound so selfish, I sometimes cite him as THE reason for not working full-time. Perhaps the one thing I have given up because of him is my night life……but then again, I was already clubbing a lot lesser four years ago.

Of course I am not a bad mummy. I take care of him well, physically and emotionally. I make sure he is eating healthily, learning adequately and playing happily. But I also make sure I have a life outside all that……because one day my boy is going to tell me that he prefers to spend time with his friends, and not with me. He will grow up to be his own individual self, making his own judgements in life and about life. Just like me, an individual who happens to have a life intertwined with that of my family members, but beyond that, I am just ME. So while I spend a lot of time with him, and I do like that, it doesn’t mean my life should be just about him. Perhaps it was that when he was a lot younger. But now, I want to be myself, and not just being a mummy. Mummy is one of my identity, but I am also an individual pursuing my own happiness, and trying to live my life to the fullest with all the people and things around me…….