“In my opinion as a female person, woman, girl, whatever, the marriage before baby thing is one of the biggest things in most conservative societies that come in the way of female emancipation.

Females were meant to have sex, lots of it, make babies and thereafter nurture them. Think about it, people and relationships are responsibilities. Marriage can help share the responsibility, but it can also increase it. If the relationship becomes a burden, not only do you now have to manage the kids, you’ve also got to manage unnecessary emotional drama.” Quote from SPG.

SPG has surprised me yet again. A 19-year old, who has had a few relationships with no strings attached and obviously not having marriage on her cards now, discussing indepth about womanhood, marriage and kids. Her writing is fairly good, but her thoughts are incoherent. To begin with, I wonder if these are her own thoughts. Yes, I’m doubting her. Because she’s definitely not writing out of experience. Maybe by piecing together snippets from someone else’s thoughts or writing?

I mean, what sort of responsibilities has she come across? She doesn’t have a marriage or kid, so what does she know about “marriage can help share the responsibility, but it can also increase it”? Has she been in a situation having to bear with such responsibilities before? No. She may have seen or heard, but she’s definitely never been in it. She encourages female emancipation by having a kid out of wedlock on one hand, but puts across traditional views that “females were meant to have sex, lots of it, make babies and thereafter nurture them.”

She seems to think that kids are a woman’s responsibility alone, and that a man would only share that responsibility in a marriage. Is that so? What about the couple she met? Is the guy going to evade responsibilities since they’re not married?

When I had my baby, I was very detached from his dad for awhile. I had thought: the baby was mine, from my tummy and my vagina. Whatever connections my baby had with his dad was purely biological. I could have this baby with another man, or used someone else’s sperm. But could I really have this same baby? No. Because this baby is uniquely ours - in terms of contribution, and in terms of responsbility. From the moment I was carrying the baby, there is an implicit shared responsibility. The responsibility is always there, with or without a marriage, until it is explicitly transferred or removed.

SPG seems to think that having a kid borne out of wedlock just makes a woman’s life easier as you don’t have to deal with any legal baggage later. Which is fine by itself. But don’t imply that a life with kids borne out of wedlock would be less burdensome. That’s just way too simplistic! You mean life without marriage is blissful, that it doesn’t come with emotional drama? I am sure that the couple she met would later have the usual problems faced by those who are married with kids.

Say all you want about having kids without getting hitched. But leave out that part about responsibility because you don’t know anything about it. Don’t write misleading stuff like that in the name of female emanicipation please.

I just got an urgent email that I am to act asap to complete a document. But here I am, indulging in my own muses. Okay, to make myself feel better, I’ve researched and put up the procrastinator’s creed here. I shall stick to this creed religiously henceforth.

I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.

I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.

I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.

I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.

I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.

I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.

I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinitesimally small, is not exactly zero.

If at first I don’t succeed, there is always next year.

I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.

I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.

I obey the law of inverse excuses which demands that the greater the task to be done, the more insignificant the work that must be done prior to beginning the greater task.

I know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is wait/plan/plan.

I will never put off until tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.

I will become a member of the ancient Order of Two-Headed Turtles (the Procrastinator’s Society) if they ever get it organized.

Lee Chee Chew, the cartoonist from The Straits Times was very obliging when I emailed him a few days ago to request for this particular strip. I intend to use it in one of my presentations on customer service. I am a fan of his strips, which appears on The Sunday Times regularly. They’re really funny and are able to reflect the local issues aptly.

My other favourite comic strips are Mutts by Patrick McDonnell and the Firecracker series by Taiwanese caricaturist Chu Thi-Yong. Mutts revolves around the daily happenings of a dog named Earl and a cat named Mooch. A very simple, yet sweet and endearing comic strip. Definitely therapeutic.

Life should be like Mutts!

As for Chu Thi-Yong, I’ve been reading his strips in the Chinese paper since young. But I only got seriously interested after Zuzu bought a few copies of the comic books last year. Chu’s first cartoon, A Pair of Firecracker was also made into a TV drama dubbed The Pink Ladies starring Rene Lau. Some critics called it China’s Sex And The City. But it was definitely more hilarious then sexciting. I never knew Rene Lau was such a good actress until I saw the show. She had me in stitches most of the time. Anyway, the irony was that this was a China production, based on a Taiwanese story and was produced during a time when the political ties between both countries were rather iffy. But maybe because it was comic, it was spared the usual political connotation. And because it was comics, they were able to let their defences down.

Well, I aspire to live my life like a comic strip - getting into extremely knotty situations, but somehow being able to emerge unscathed each time, and be able to laugh about it. In fact, to have a semblance of a comical life, Zuzu and I will always pretend to bash each other up whenever we are in the elevator. As soon as the lift door is opened, we’ll lovingly put our arms around each other and look soooo in love. Yeah, life should be this fun all the time isn’t it? MUAHAHAHA….. :grin:

Just saw Xia Yi, the Shanghainese actress based in Taiwan, performing on the popular “Kang Xi Lai Le” program and she looks well.

Not too long ago, I saw her on the news and she looked terrible because she was accused of causing the suicide of popular veteran entertainer Ni Ming-jan. All the “big brothers” in the Taiwan entertainment circle censured her and had wanted to bar her from their variety programs. I thought, there goes her acting and entertainment career….at least in Taiwan. Then again, I am probably wrong. It’s afterall the entertainment industry! These things blow over very fast and other scandals will hog the limelight soon.

What if something like that happened in Singapore. Will it be different? I suppose so. It’s a universal fact that most people have short memories. They may not forget immediately but they will forget quickly, as soon as something interesting takes over their attention.

Anyway, it was interesting to observe the cross cultural differences. While both parties spoke Mandarin, Xia Yi didn’t understand many of the modern Taiwanese lingo. She looked completely lost when shown certain gestures or asked about certain colloquial terms. Her values also came across as conservative. So it’s not that she’s finicky as reported, but looks more like a case of wrong frequency in communication.

I had to wait till the very last minute to sign up for the 2nd stage of the yoga class this morning. Why? Because I am a procrastinator. Actually, I am just lazy….so how did a lazy bum like me get inspired to do yoga? Well, it was actually Peizhen who inspired me with her research on the benefits of yoga. I was very enthusiastic when I started out, but it quickly fizzled out….Sigh* What do I expect from myself?

A few years ago, I was interested in meditation but my interest quickly subsided after I realised that there were no meditation poses lying down……don’t get me started on the subject of laziness. I’m just too lazy to discuss it now.

I am hoping to reap some benefits from yoga, and at the least, it is something I can add to my 2005 resolution. Haha….I add my resolutions as the months progress…. I found out that it’s more motivating that way.

Well, many aunties were at the class this morning. Some of them still cannot coordinate their arm swings very well although we’ve been at it for at least 2 months now. Their arms were in knots! I suppose during their childhood, no one helped them developed their motorskills. But on second thoughts, motorskills are only in vogue this generation!