“In my opinion as a female person, woman, girl, whatever, the marriage before baby thing is one of the biggest things in most conservative societies that come in the way of female emancipation.

Females were meant to have sex, lots of it, make babies and thereafter nurture them. Think about it, people and relationships are responsibilities. Marriage can help share the responsibility, but it can also increase it. If the relationship becomes a burden, not only do you now have to manage the kids, you’ve also got to manage unnecessary emotional drama.” Quote from SPG.

SPG has surprised me yet again. A 19-year old, who has had a few relationships with no strings attached and obviously not having marriage on her cards now, discussing indepth about womanhood, marriage and kids. Her writing is fairly good, but her thoughts are incoherent. To begin with, I wonder if these are her own thoughts. Yes, I’m doubting her. Because she’s definitely not writing out of experience. Maybe by piecing together snippets from someone else’s thoughts or writing?

I mean, what sort of responsibilities has she come across? She doesn’t have a marriage or kid, so what does she know about “marriage can help share the responsibility, but it can also increase it”? Has she been in a situation having to bear with such responsibilities before? No. She may have seen or heard, but she’s definitely never been in it. She encourages female emancipation by having a kid out of wedlock on one hand, but puts across traditional views that “females were meant to have sex, lots of it, make babies and thereafter nurture them.”

She seems to think that kids are a woman’s responsibility alone, and that a man would only share that responsibility in a marriage. Is that so? What about the couple she met? Is the guy going to evade responsibilities since they’re not married?

When I had my baby, I was very detached from his dad for awhile. I had thought: the baby was mine, from my tummy and my vagina. Whatever connections my baby had with his dad was purely biological. I could have this baby with another man, or used someone else’s sperm. But could I really have this same baby? No. Because this baby is uniquely ours - in terms of contribution, and in terms of responsbility. From the moment I was carrying the baby, there is an implicit shared responsibility. The responsibility is always there, with or without a marriage, until it is explicitly transferred or removed.

SPG seems to think that having a kid borne out of wedlock just makes a woman’s life easier as you don’t have to deal with any legal baggage later. Which is fine by itself. But don’t imply that a life with kids borne out of wedlock would be less burdensome. That’s just way too simplistic! You mean life without marriage is blissful, that it doesn’t come with emotional drama? I am sure that the couple she met would later have the usual problems faced by those who are married with kids.

Say all you want about having kids without getting hitched. But leave out that part about responsibility because you don’t know anything about it. Don’t write misleading stuff like that in the name of female emanicipation please.