You know what’s the surprise with your kid going into Primary One? Suddenly, you’re swarmed with lots of forms to sign every week! If it’s not about a new policy, it’s about an upcoming activity and parents’ signature are required to acknowledge receiving such updates. I even have to sign for his weekly Chinese spelling! Maybe my memory has failed me but I certainly can’t recall these formalities during my time.

But these I remember! Selling donation tickets for the school! I remember asking my brothers to buy from me, and then getting my dad to pay for the rest. I mean, who could I have approached? As for my son, he’s even more clueless. All he did was to pass me the booklet and promptly expected me to put in the $10 note for him to return to his teacher.

So of course I had to buy up all the tickets! Luckily it’s only 10! My only gripe was that I had to complete my details on the booklet 10 times!

But never mind, perhaps I’ll have some luck with the prize money. Ten bucks for the hope of winning $30K is a fair betting amount anyway!

I heard the prediction for my Chinese zodiac sign over the variety programme like two nights ago. Apparently, I’m going to have some mix fortune this year and to negate the negatives, I have to be more communicative.

I wonder.

How much is this going to help me if others are constantly misconstruing my messages, both verbal and non-verbal? I can’t be responsible for the wrong ways people are reading me can I? And what’s the point of being more communicative when all I get in return are abuses and swears?

I used to think that communication is the key to a successful relationship but increasingly, I don’t. Because you can communicate, but it’s not going to work if there is no understanding and acceptance. There’s a huge difference to communicating openly and communicating blindly.

Maybe I was blind all this while and I didn’t even know it.

This is the first time after so many years that I was back at my mom’s to celebrate the first day of the Chinese New Year, and meeting all my siblings and their families. I usually head back on the second day but made an exception this year, at the invitation of my eldest brother.

I was rather excited because I haven’t seen some of my siblings and their families for a long time. I was particularly looking forward to meeting my nieces and nephews – many of whom I’ve seen growing up. However, most of them have their own families now and seem less interested to catch up. And apart from a brother whom I’m close with, I could hardly find much to talk to my other siblings.

It’s kind of sad that family gatherings at Chinese New Year are marked by obligations rather than a genuine interest to connect. If not for my mom, I doubt the siblings would bother. As it is, one was not around and some others who were not on talking terms had to be strategically seated apart. And even at the same table, comments were curt and eye contacts were lacking.

Obviously, it’ll take more than sumptuous food to be able to mend broken relationships. But I wonder…what?

I remember my mom watching me ordered bee-tai-bak during my recess time on the first day of school.  So all along, I thought I would be doing the same – to watch the boy have his food during his recess from afar.  But it looks like the policies at the schools have all changed now and we can no longer linger at the school.  And instead of watching, here I am, writing this post while hoping that the boy ate well.

Anyway, I don’t think we have much to worry as the school has in place, a buddy system so the boy should not be feeling too lost.  He was really enthusiastic about going to school, as we were excited about his first day as well.

There were so much stuff to prepare!  Getting his study room ready. Fixing the right lights for his room.  Getting his glasses prescribed. Arranging the school transport. Purchasing his textbooks.  Finding the right wrappers for the textbooks. Searching for the right school bag. Buying the stationery.  And…making labels for all his belongings.

Thank goodness his dad took most of the initiatives because I was as usual, as nonchalant as ever. Well, it’s not that I don’t care but I’m just not into such detailed preparation. Plus, I really don’t know how.   As it is, I messed up the pick up time with the school bus and he was driven to school instead.  And that was the only thing I sort of took charge of.

But at least, I saw him enter the school safely. At the least, I saw his happy face as he made his way to his classroom. And at the least, I was present for him as he entered into a new chapter of his life.

It’s funny I keep bumping into people I know more than a decade ago.  Some more than two decades even!  The latest I bumped into was a friend I used to party like three times a week in my 20s and yet, I couldn’t recognise her.  Well, not at first. 

I took note of her only because she kept looking my way.  I glanced at her momentarily and sort of found her vaguely familar, but I couldn’t place her immediately.  It was only hours later that I managed to put two and two together.  It was a bit scary considering we used to be quite close and I couldn’t recognise her!  Maybe it was because we saw each other mostly at night then?  HA!

How much do people change in a decade?  I looked at my ex-boss and I was a bit shocked at how much he has aged; although I could recognise him.  I saw an ex-classmate whom I’ve not seen in almost 30 years and I managed to call her name.  But this woman was different.  When I looked at her face then, I had little impression.  What happened?  Was it her hairdo?  Was it my failing eye sight?  Or was it because I simply have erased her from my memory?

I wonder how I look to people whom I’ve not seen in a decade or more?  Most seem to tell me that I look about the same – not that I haven’t aged – but I guess it’s because I haven’t changed much in terms of weight and *ahem* height.  Or perhaps it was because I have made an impression on them. 

But what about in another 10 or 20 years?  Will I be able to recognise or remember people I used to know?  And will I be recognised and remembered too?